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Just Thoughts

  • boot: Wrong, just wrong: Feeling imperceptibly attractive, Kierkegaard begged with the duck.
  • Keith: Minimalist Jones animatedly scared his favorite toaster.
  • boot: Fiend!
  • boot: Feeling delectably rotten, Perkins shot the duck!
  • Keith: Feeling tantalisingly annoyed, Keith's house giraffe navigated the pantry.
  • pam: Feeling unstintingly invincible, Jukebox McGill froze the duck! (Aww, Jukebox McGill made it into Bogus Scrine.)

2013 Supporters

boot, littledevilworks

2012 Supporters

boot, littledevilworks

2011 Supporters

Boot, Carrot, littledevilworks, 'mouse

2010 Supporters

Boot, Pam, 'mouse, Grudknows

2010 "Above & Beyond" Supporters

'mouse, Boot

2009 Supporters

Boot, e, 'mouse, JadedBeauty, littledevilworks

2008 Supporters

'mouse, e, Grudknows, Boot, You can call me, 'Sir', littledevilworks, Skif, Bakerina, Pam

2008 "Above & Beyond" Supporters

'mouse, Other Keith, Pam, Boot, and one real name I can't quite match up with a screen name

Thursday, February 14, 2013
The good old days, part 22,467 :: 'mouse

Despite the wonders that are delivered by digital music today, sometimes I really miss lying on my back on a shag carpet, eyes closed, two huge stack speakers aimed at my head, listening to a quality vinyl record played over excellent analog equipment.

my dream :: boot

One day I wish to retire to a dictionary.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013
untethered :: 'mouse

Sometimes I come untethered.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Sadly, I know not what :: 'mouse

Two dogs stuck together after coupling is an excellent metaphor for something.

Thursday, February 07, 2013
Destiny, that bee-otch: Guest Scriner: Louis de Bernieres, Birds Without Wings :: 'mouse

“Destiny caresses the few, but molests the many.”

Monday, February 04, 2013
deracinated :: 'mouse

40-odd years learning this damn language and yet there always seem to be new words to learn.


I’m not sure how much longer I can submit to responsibility and keep putting off the urge to drop everything for a long, unplanned roadtrip.

Saturday, February 02, 2013
watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat :: Keith

Today I loved the Internet because I saw the Rocky & Bullwinkle show used as a reference on how to properly title a show that uses the word or preceding the show’s subtitle.

Saturday Again :: Keith

My dog always sleeps in late on Saturday mornings, but of course, he does start every day off by saying, “What? I can’t believe it’s Saturday again.”

Sweet Dreams :: Keith

The coffee beans looked just like cashews, I had, once again, a head full of long sun-bleached blond hair, and some man sitting at the bar was listening to a portable radio bearing the name Scrine in gleaming chrome letters across its speaker grill.

Thursday, January 31, 2013
Musings on goats - Guest Scriner: Louis de Bernieres, Corelli’s Mandolin :: 'mouse

“Why are [goats] such sensitive animals, and yet simultaneously so boundlessly stupid, like poets and artists?”

Tastes like… angel shit :: 'mouse

Why is it that all the best food and drink—scotch, espresso, durian, good aged cheeses, Chinese stinky tofu, huitlacoche, etc.—can all be accurately described as “like and angel pissing (or shitting) on your tongue?”

Wednesday, January 30, 2013
The Death of Privacy :: 'mouse

When Juan found that his phone knew all about his work-computer-based searches about Australian serial killers and even wanted to help him find more information, he realized he was going to have to unplug and wrap anything important in tin foil if he wished to retain any privacy at all in this brave new world.

More thoughts spurred by the Patti Smith biography :: 'mouse

Walking the streets of New York, hungry and not knowing where you’re going to sleep,  probably a park bench or someone’s stoop, is such a character-building exercise that I now understand Mao’s motivation for the Cultural Revolution and I’m seriously considering throwing my kids out on the street instead of helping them apply and pay for college.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
This occurs to me while listening to the Patti Smith Biography on tape :: 'mouse

Sex and drugs and rock’n'roll ain’t what they used to be.

Zero Pushups, Ridiculous :: Keith

In the dream I ran like the wind but couldn’t do a single pushup, and now this morning I have this queasy, unshakable feeling that one of those things has come true, and, truth be told, I’m more than a little nervous about being able to run so fast.

Long nights :: OhNo789

One night, anxiety free, ready to take on the world (sleeps, and I shake it, call its name, but in reply receive not a word.

Monday, January 28, 2013
Ambition :: Br. Ezra

This is the year I read Proust and eat more gelato.

Divine Humor :: Br. Ezra

And on the eighth day God said, “Psych.”

Elmore Leonard says keep your Character descriptions general :: Br. Ezra

Stella was bangs, big eyes and hungry with general ambition.

Sunday, January 27, 2013
New Scrine ~ Day 2 :: Keith

On the second day, a couple of thoughts occurred to him, the first, and by far the most frightful, was that he’d perhaps lost his ability to think more than a couple of thoughts at a time.

Thursday, January 24, 2013
Office fixtures :: bakerina

Nothing says “professional” like an egg timer, a collection of horror movie posters on the wall, and tiny plastic velociraptors scattered across the desk.

Friends with Kids :: 'mouse

I find I have two kinds of friends with kids, those with grown kids and those with groan, kids.

Great Big Plan :: Keith

My year begins with a big plan, which just happens to not involve exercise, which turns it into a great plan.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
In my building, today. :: 'mouse

“Just show me one real-life example of global warming, and then maybe I’ll listen to your pinko liberal crap,” shouted John into the phone as he paced and looked distractedly out the window at the trees which were beginning to drop their fall leaves… January 23, 2013.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I have a tree. :: littledevilworks

It is a tree deeply rooted in my back yard.

I Have A Dream That Mail Arrived :: Keith

The check didn’t arrive yesterday because there was no mail, but I don’t blame Mr. King; I’m pretty sure that wasn’t one of his dreams.

Have Banana, Will Travel :: Keith

Unfortunately, there was no such thing as hard-boiled bananas on his home planet.

Friday, January 18, 2013
the flu :: littledevilworks

Each flu season Tammy pondered if human hibernation was possible and whether, if successful, the skill would constitute Darwinian evolution.

Misheard Lyrics - Kid Edition (Guest Scriner: Juanita Jr. when she was 5) :: 'mouse

“Daddy, why did he need a guitar to be a juice box hero?”

Thursday, January 17, 2013
class warfare :: You can call me, 'Sir'

The pitch to PBS seemed foolproof at the time, a telethon called ‘Handjobs for Hobos’, with the most generous donor guaranteed two minutes with a vat of mulligan stew and a large wooden spoon, but for reasons still unspecified, they passed and decided to spend their time and effort on some ridiculous period drama about servants and gentry in early twentieth century England, BOOOOOOOOORIIIIIING.

True-dat :: 'mouse

The book I am reading quotes a wise old Spanish saying that a man’s troubles can almost always be traced to his clacker, his rumbler or his dangler.

lament for the damned :: You can call me, 'Sir'

I have to go to the DMV today to renew my driver’s license and instead of just getting up and going, I’m sitting here typing words underneath a bird’s beak because, although airports and refugee camps are bad, the DMV is truly where all hope goes to die.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I feel guilty that the authors don’t receive compensation for all the wonderful books I borrow from the library.

Couldn’t Write, Couldn’t Sleep :: OhNo789

So, I drank some whiskey, drew up a bath, found a pen, brewed some tea - let us see if I can’t get you now, you elusive sons of bitches.

Monday, January 14, 2013
The Toaster of Mystery :: littledevilworks

It was the toaster in the server room with the extension cord.

Thursday, January 10, 2013
Fear is the little death that brings pudding-y goodness :: bakerina

I keep reading descriptions of how fear turns people to stone, but in my experience, fear turns one into more of a blancmange.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013
2013’s first WTF!!! (with three exclamation marks) :: 'mouse

Bulimia for those too lazy to barf.

Tuesday, January 08, 2013
it was a shock to me too :: boot

Turns out, I know some stuff.

Monday, January 07, 2013
Anna Foreverinna :: littledevilworks

At the rate of 2-5 pages a night before I go to sleep I ought to be reading Anna Karenina for approximately the rest of my life.

Sweet pickled what? :: littledevilworks

Tammy knew she had her work cut out for her when Jim brought by his latest scavenged roadside fare and requested sweet pickled beaver for dinner.

Sunday, January 06, 2013
Hail to the Chief (The Heroin Den!) :: Keith

The highlight of the heroin den roundup had to be when the son, before being shuffled off to the backseat of his own police car, delivered, in a very servant-like manner, his father’s dentures on the back of a plastic butter tub lid to the other police car, which made the Chief think that maybe he’d been watching too much television when he found himself thinking that he’d just witnessed some sort of modern American version of Downton Abbey.

Saturday, January 05, 2013
sayings brought to life :: boot

“I told you, didn’t I tell you?” said Hank as he counted the hundreds of excess recently-hatched chickens pecking their way around the kitchen.

Keith’s Guide to Australia :: Keith

In 1910, Australian Minister of Home Affairs, King O’Malley, shepherded new prohibition laws through parliament after a harrowing encounter he’d had with some rather unruly kittens whom he’d caught lapping up whiskey in the alley behind his house.

Rumors :: 'mouse

Rumors of my disappearance have not been greatly exaggerated.

whiskey derring-do :: 'mouse

Puss found that if he substituted whiskey for his usual bowl of milk he could out-dare any kitten in the litter in their never-ending game of “truth or dare.”.

Hail to the Chief (What He Didn’t Know) :: Keith

If the Chief had known that tomorrow morning before six he and the police would be rounding up culprits from the mobile heroin den, he never would have told to his dog, “I’ll go to the store first thing in the morning,” when he discovered he was out of coffee.

Thursday, January 03, 2013
Nonchalance :: Keith

As Henry watched the ducks swim up and down the creek on such a cold day, he found himself growing increasingly irritated by their nonchalant attitude.

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

I’ve gotten old enough to start questioning my own nonsense.

The Year Rambled On Like All The Years Before :: Keith

On January 2nd, Henry began to realize he wouldn’t be able to live up to his New Year’s resolution to stop thinking that his dog took so many naps in order to dream about something so devious that it would take a second New Year’s resolution to try and forget about it if he ever did happen to discover what it was his dog was dreaming about.

Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Eased In :: Keith

Although Henry and his dog both looked good in party hats, they’d eased their way into the new year at home on the couch, trading unbelievable but utterly fantastic stories about the adventures awaiting them around every corner.

Monday, December 31, 2012
2013: A Report So Far :: boot

One cat, one man, two pigeons, no ducks, a cup of coffee, a dash of weirdness, and a variety of baked goods.

Friday, December 28, 2012
whiskery dare-doing :: boot

Kittens, while not known for their incredible acts of daring do, remain, nonetheless, the masters of understated chaos and destruction.

except old, this is about right :: boot

I find myself, at this age, both pollyanna and curmudgeon, and somewhat the peculiar old biddy.

mmmmmmmmmmwah :: bakerina

Nothing says Christmas Miracle like the return of the rusty metal bird.

Thursday, November 29, 2012
Achilles heel :: littledevilworks

Nothing filled Tammy with the same level of foreboding and abject terror, or the threat of decompensation quite like her Achilles heel: the sore throat.

Monday, November 26, 2012
fruitodology: pomegranates :: bakerina

The first pomegranate I ever ate, back in the fall of 1987, will live forever—specifically, on the copy of Dead Souls I was reading at the same time.

Sunday, November 25, 2012
unless this is all part of the plot? :: boot

If you are hatching a nefarious, underhanded, and fiendishly clever plot, then it can not only consist of three spoons and a kitten.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
social lubricant :: 'mouse

Vern was surprised to learn that “social lubricant” generally referred to alcohol consumption, but it did explain the strange reaction he’d gotten when shaking hands after conditioning his palms with a liberal squirt of Astroglide.

Happy Puppy (aka time to get my ears cleaned) :: 'mouse

I had to look at the song title to confirm she was singing “my baby does the hanky panky” and not “my baby does the happy puppy.”

Too Much Glue Involved :: Keith

Lois was never sure if conversation could actually be considered a hobby, but it sure beat that scrapbook nonsense.

Sunday, November 18, 2012
More adventures in cat adolescence :: bakerina

New vocabulary words for the month include “wow,” “nah,” “meh,” and one particularly vociferous “WHAAAT?!”

Monday, November 12, 2012
Potato Romance :: Keith

Lois wasn’t foolish enough to believe romance was hiding in a sack of potatoes, but she kept peeling, just in case.

Baby’s Butt :: Keith

More like, smooth as my dog’s armpits, Henry thought.

Friday, November 09, 2012
Keith Visits The Semantics Zoo :: Keith

Keith got in line to see the new baby eloquent.

Toxic Waste :: 'mouse

Has anyone noticed that a blueberry muffin from Costco has 612 calories, or that a chocolate one has 692!?!

Thursday, November 08, 2012
Fruitodology: Bananas :: 'mouse

I think I’ve already confessed this anonymously, but I’ll own up to it: Before I eat a banana I always answer it, “Hello?” and sometimes in a foreign language, “Wei? Wei?”

Wednesday, November 07, 2012
Guest Scriner: Keith, Our Eloquent Chief :: boot

I am, however, very fond of boxcars heading west and the smell of hot coffee on quiet, cool mornings.

Tuesday, November 06, 2012
fruitodology: apples :: boot

Why is that all eaten apples are depicted as having most of the middle eaten, leaving the top and bottom untouched, when, in reality, all of my apples look pleasingly oval shaped once devoured.

my aging brain: note-taking :: boot

I keep forgetting that I want to start making notes as soon as I think of an idea.

a good finger bun is a hard thing to find :: boot

The simplest of things are sometimes the toughest things to recreate.

gone :: boot

As the wind snapped at her, it felt as though a memory were being torn from her grip.

Monday, November 05, 2012
Pride Begins In The Telling :: Keith

“To my credit, I haven’t shown up drunk for work in over twenty five years,” Oscar liked to tell people, conveniently leaving out the bit that that was exactly how long it’d been since he’d actually had a job.

Henry Markets Absolutely Nothing :: Keith

“A destination gives people purpose,” Henry told the town’s tourism committee, “while an oddity fills them with a sense of wonder, and by combining those two simple elements, we can create an almost uncontrollable desire for our visitors to buy t-shirts, hilarious gag caps, and refrigerator magnets, so it is with great pride and enthusiasm that I present to you our new town slogan, “Home of the World’s Smallest Memory.”

Anything :: OhNo789

I want something to do with my hands. I do not fidget. I make no motion unprovoked. Nothing taken, or lost or left without reason, thought. I write nothing. Doodle nothing. No idle brush of surface, or stroke in thought. The action, these words, possess me to do. And I oblige. Exorcize ghosts of statement. Trap them on page. In slide of hand on back, cupping of face, hands in hair. Tugging, pulling, leaving scratches on things that are mine when they leave. Scratches in pen. Scratches that draw blood on inanimate objects.

I want to do something with my hands in times of weakness, or lack of productivity. Light addiction to fiddling with purpose compels me when all else has been taken or lost or left with reason. I need to remember passion who conspires movement., but no haunty specters take over, and I am useless. I feel myself coming unstitched at edges. Tiny fingers fiddling with strings of tendons. With time, all will dangle. No poetry written in a walk up your spine, or while thumbing circles in forgotten spots of skin.

Oh My, Oh My :: OhNo789

I don’t remember how to write good.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
my dog told me this :: 'mouse

Music soothes the savage mailman.

Friday, October 26, 2012
USPS Fail :: 'mouse

Small wonder the US Post Office is failing; I am tracking my package - China, San Francisco, San Diego(!), San Jose - God only knows if it will turn around and visit Ohio before they get around to delivering it to my San Jose office.

Thursday, October 25, 2012
Is there a cough syrup for that? :: bakerina

When you find yourself losing faith in law, justice, representative democracy, chocolate, interval training, and sunny days, that’s when you know that the Existentialism Virus is making the rounds again.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Like perhaps the presidency :: 'mouse

Limitless opportunities await those who study the art of flim flam.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Liver:  If the choice is between Tylenol and alcohol, I choose alcohol.

Friday, October 19, 2012
Pears of Shame :: 'mouse

When I met ‘mrs. ‘mouse, I was shocked to discover that she ate pears all wrong - biting off the stem and then working down from the top - but lately I’ve begun doing the same (when no one is looking).

Thursday, October 18, 2012
signs of the hobo :: boot

Some online hobo courses were either built by Keith or, at the very least, for Keith.

Cletis Rushes His Toaster To The Vet :: Keith

Cletis returned from vacation and was horrified to discover that his so-called friends had failed to feed his pet toaster all week, and from the complete lack of fingerprints, hadn’t even bothered to pet him one single time.

Friday, October 12, 2012

I’ve reached that point in this round of dieting where you begin to look like food to me.


A lifelong bibliophile, I now prefer reading ebooks to paper.

Thursday, October 11, 2012
the bright side of life :: bakerina

The great thing about the beach in California is that even when it’s cloudy and rainy at the beach, it’s still The Beach in California, yo.


I blew off most of the work day reading a novel.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012
Oh, wait. :: bakerina

The head of my firm is a pain in the ass who keeps sending me on long, fruitless errands, so I’m going to tell her off and quit my job.

Monday, October 08, 2012
Dead in the last 24-hours:  A car battery, a printer, a coffee grinder, a computer :: 'mouse

If you like your electronics you’ll keep me away from them.

Thursday, October 04, 2012
How, indeed :: You can call me, 'Sir'

As if dogs could be any worse drivers than their human overlords.

Magic and/or Bluetooth :: 'mouse

Now I know how Rincewind does it.

negotiation :: bakerina

Never underestimate the power of the iron fist or the velvet glove.

A winner in the presidential debate :: 'mouse

Romney clearly won the presidential debate last night since he promised me both a puppy and a unicorn.

Wednesday, October 03, 2012
The Blues :: 'mouse

It seems that the only way to cure these heavy blues - 24 hours and counting - is to go buy a much more expensive, more powerful laptop.

Monday, October 01, 2012
Fried chicken and waffles blues :: bakerina

It’s a coldhearted soul food shack that posts pictures of its perfect fried chicken and waffles on the internet on a Monday morning, when said soul food shack a) is closed on Mondays and b)only serves fried chicken and waffles on weekends.

Juan recognizes the error in his plan :: 'mouse

The problem with using neuro-toxins on the bugs around your house is that people too have neuros, Juan observed, noting the bitter metallic taste in his mouth and the residual dizziness the next day

Saturday, September 29, 2012
Imagination gone awry :: boot

Some things start off innocently enough, but then Imagination gets involved and it drags you kicking and screaming down corridors that you definitely do not wish to investigate.

interference on a grand scale :: boot

It’s one thing to blithely state that the static on your old TV is caused by cosmic microwave background, but if you give this a moment’s thought, it’s quite possibly grander than anything ever invented in even the most far-fetched science fiction stories.

interference :: boot

It’s damnably hard to write and listen to (oh, luck, be a) music at the same (a lady, tonight) time.

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