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Measuring social capital through cost-benefit analysis may be difficult, but it is not impossible, and several excellent studies have identified useful proxies for social capital, using different types and combinations of qualitative, comparative and quantitative research methodologies.

    TAGS:  1st Sentence, work, friendship, research, methodology

eisenberg’s :: bakerina

The last ten seats at the counter, furthest from the front door, are known to the staff and regulars as “Hawaii.”

    TAGS:  work, doors, lunch counter, Hawaii

racing rodentia :: other keith

The result of working for a large corporation, and perhaps their out-and-out goal, is the destruction of your will to live.

    TAGS:  work, corporate, willpower

rodentia blues :: Keith

Two sentences were sitting at the bar, discussing meditation over glasses of scotch, when one says to the other, “You know, I agree with you about corporations destroying your will to live, but I’ll have you know, the result of working for yourself, and maybe this is also the out-and-out goal of the large corporation, is the destruction of your ability to live.”

    TAGS:  alcohol, work, bar, destruction, corporate, scotch, willpower

panic :: 'mouse

At first there were just spots which could be ignored or mopped up, but as the rising tide of paper covered his entire office floor, a cold layer of anxiety floated on top, quickly rising to envelop his chest, heart and lungs.

    TAGS:  work, heart, anxiety, chest, paper, panic, lungs

marking time :: pam

Brenner had one, secretly-cherished foible, which was this: he had named the five urinals in the office men’s room after the workdays of the week, and he would only utilize each one on its respective day.

    TAGS:  work, brenner, urinals, foibles

saying :: Keith

Looking around the room, Hector wondered if he should tells his coworkers about his past lives, and if he did, whether he should start with the life where he was the very short man named Samuel, no taller then four feet, but with extra large extremities, or if he should tell them about Louisa and get it over with.

    TAGS:  work, coworkers, reincarnation, Hector, extremities

The thing is, if it turns out the citizens of the great State of California actually like low vehicle license fees, almost no property tax, decaying K-12 public education and the circus atmosphere of budgetary sleight-of-hand in lieu of responsible fiscal management, then my career is meaningless before I even graduate.

    TAGS:  work, auto, California, careers, circus, education, government, taxes

reams of news :: pam

If it wasn’t printed on those ubiquitous 8 1/2 x 11” sheets of paper and assigned to her by either her boss or her professor, chances are she hasn’t heard already.

    TAGS:  work, bosses, paper, ubiquitous, professor

The public agency’s secret mission, developed with care by the staff, involved the revocation of the licenses of every business they regulated, in the name of Mighty Fa-Rol, the pagan god of overstuffed file cabinets.

    TAGS:  work, file cabinets, fa-rol, paganism, secret missions

coin toss :: pam

Which should I do - stay in a job that’s boring but lets me concentrate on school, or find a better-paying job that will be much more difficult?

    TAGS:  work, balance, indecision

I’ve never actually tried to herd cats, but I’m pretty certain that herding the paperwork in my office is by far the more difficult task.

    TAGS:  work, cats, paperwork

mentor :: pam

A true mentor is one of those people who can only be realized as such years after success occurs; I now run away from anybody who tells me she wishes to be my mentor at the onset of our working relationship, because whether she’s aware of it or not, the seemingly generous offer is just a euphamism for ‘you’ll do my shit work and treat me like a queen.’

    TAGS:  work, relationships, success, mentor

coffee cup wisdom :: 'mouse

One of my office manager’s coffee cups delivers the following advice:  “If it rings, put it on hold; if it clanks, call the repairman; if it whistles, ignore it; if it’s a friend, take a break; if it’s a boss, look busy; if it talks, take notes; if it’s handwritten, type it; if it’s typed, copy it; if it’s copied, file it; if it’s Friday, forget it,” her other cup simply inspires with the words, “My lawyer can beat up your lawyer.”

    TAGS:  coffee, work, advice, lawyers

law :: e

I am the least litigious of persons but nonetheless it seems that I am forced to file a claim against my Hostile Workplace.

    TAGS:  work, law, litigious

work :: 'mouse

As I materialize and consciousness returns, I find a computer in front of me, files piled on the desk and floor and coffee gurgling responsibly into the pot—I guess it is my lot to work this day.

    TAGS:  work, morning

“I work for free; I get paid to be afraid.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, fear, work, Hugh MacLeod

Everything changed for Jolene that spring morning when she sat down in her cubicle, opened up her email account, found 372 new emails, calmly poured her coffee into the computer, walked out, took a cab directly to the airport and bought a one-way ticket to Thailand.

    TAGS:  change, work, computers, email

You know it’s been a day of extremes when your boss comes out, stands by your desk and just starts laughing at you.

    TAGS:  work

Gone :: 'mouse

All day long I looked high and low, but I’m afraid I must grudgingly conclude that my last little crumb of interest in working is harder to locate than a lost contact and could well be lost forever.

    TAGS:  work

right there outside the library window: but with which do you identify? (link removed)(graphic animal content, viewer discretion advised, safe for work but maybe not for quite small children)

    TAGS:  work

I feel like I’ve been air-lifted into Budapest and commanded to erect a building with my bare hands.

    TAGS:  work, depressing, similes

Motivation to stay at the office working late is inversely proportional to the amount of Guinness that makes its way from the office mini-fridge into one’s mug.

    TAGS:  work, beer, Guinness

They assured Jenna that in a few months, it would get very busy at the agency, and she would be in charge of many complicated and important projects, and then they ushered her to a cubicle and explained that she would conduct her own orientation for the next month or two by combing through the shared drive for random memos, templates, and written procedures.

    TAGS:  work, cubicles, complicated, orientation

Genius! :: Jo

Thank God for Scrine, for it gives me a few more minutes reprieve before I actually work.

    TAGS:  scrine, work

distracting :: boot

I’ve got to get some work done, so would you all just stop being so damn scintillating.

    TAGS:  work, distracting, scintillating

Priorities :: Jo

When looking for a new career, what’s most important is imagining your wardrobe, and what, exactly, others will envy about your fabulous lifestyle.

    TAGS:  work, careers, envy, lifestyle, wardrobe

No little kid ever stood up in front of her Kindergarten class and announced that she would grow up to be a cubicle-dweller; what I’m trying to say is, at my age, I still need to reconcile my age-old ideal about the perfect job, to the image of the less-than-glamourous career I actually built for myself (and like).

    TAGS:  work, school, kindergarten

ARRGH! :: boot

“Look, that’s the third time someone has felt it’s okay to yell at me this week, surely it’s my turn by now?”

    TAGS:  work, arrgh, yelling

no longer true :: boot

So far today I’ve only wanted kill my new boss once, so that’s nice.

    TAGS:  change, work, sarcasm

I See :: Snow

"I got fired because my supervisor was jealous," Chad told her as he sat down with a big sigh.

"Jealous?" she repeated incredulously.  "Why?  He made more than you and worked…

    TAGS:  work, jealousy, fired, supervisor

Dear Crazy Person: :: 'mouse

The first time you called, six months ago and asked me about your case, I listened to you patiently and advised you about some general strategy and suggested you come…

    TAGS:  work, crazy people

recipe for madness :: bakerina

Surround one cubicle-dweller with one neighbor who has day-long noisy conference calls; one cubicle designated as the “visitor’s cubicle,” inhabited by an ever-changing sea of visitors who all need to know where the printer/copier/fax machines are; ambient noise from the cafeteria 12 feet away; ambient noise from the mailroom around the corner; ambient noise from the freight elevator across the hall from the mailroom; ambient noise from the circuit breakers and server banks in the core; 50 people in moods ranging from faux-jocular to enraged to so keen to talk to dweller that they will immediately begin a conversation without first ascertaining whether the dweller is on the phone or doing complicated math; and 17 different ringtones; shake well, apply liberally and serve with toast points.

    TAGS:  work, math, complicated, cafeteria, elevator

Stone :: Keith

No matter how many stone walls you’re a part of, it will always be a challenge to look at 200-300 feet of rough, sloping, muddy Oregon hillside, then know exactly how many tons of boulders, and how many hundreds of manhours to move said boulders, will be required to make everyone happy.

    TAGS:  work, Oregon, stone

Bored at work :: admiral dewy wilkins

my brain feels like wet cake, falling away in big chunks; who can save my brain, for it surely is not the stimulation of the work at hand; I feel I will need to escape to the pub soon, far more interesting characters there.

    TAGS:  work, boredom, pubs

Sigh :: 'mouse

The deep, bone-tired sigh escaped Heidi’s lips, but then she caught herself, remembered she was being well paid for her work on this project and decided she’d do the responsible thing and keep working.

    TAGS:  work, sigh, fatigue

I got the job :: grudknows

I got the job - well, both of them actually.

    TAGS:  camaraderie, work

working dog :: hysterium

At work, I sometimes wish that my time there was measured in dog years.

    TAGS:  wishing, work, dog years

Walls :: Keith

work, stone, landscaping

Todd Works :: Keith

The question on everyone’s mind, at least those who knew what was going on (the beer drinking, the language barrier, the distance still to drive, etc.), was not whether Todd could design and bid the job within the next sixty minutes (because most assuredly, he had already done that on many occasions, many times over) but whether he could sell the job within the next hour, and even more importantly, whether he would walk away with a signed check and a trusting customer.

    TAGS:  work, procrastination

snap :: bakerina

At 3 p.m., as Bronwyn trudged back to her desk after learning that the conference call for which she had skipped her lunch hour had been cancelled, the thought occurred to her: I would strangle an orphan for a day off.

    TAGS:  work, polite violence, Bronwyn, conference calls, orphans

Blue Collar God :: Keith

If you live in town where the bars line up like blackbirds on an electric wire, then you probably also believe God was a working stiff, and that he’d want… no, he’d demand that you drop to your knees (or sit on a stool is fine) and pay homage to each and every one of them on the way home from work.

    TAGS:  work, god, drinking, blackbirds, blue collar

Take the Sublime Philosphical Crap Test.

    TAGS:  work

“So… can you tell me”, the funny lady at work asked, “if an insect or animal was going to draw - which insect or animal would it be?”

    TAGS:  work

“I am only a tourist here on planet Earth,” he said taking a drag from his cigarette, “I’ll be god damned if I spent eight hours of my time a day working at a job I hate.”

    TAGS:  work, aliens, attitude

The Juggernaut :: Keith

Try as he might, Henry could convince none of his coworkers to refer to him as The Juggernaut, with the exception of Stu in accounting, which everyone knew didn’t really count.

    TAGS:  Henry, work, accounting

You can love your job all you want, but after several 12-hour workdays in a row, it’s gonna start making a person a wee bit grumpy.

    TAGS:  work

Poor Henry :: Keith

After the unfortunate running with scissors accident, Mr. Cornelius Jones no longer found it necessary to employ an eyeglass attendant, and Henry unexpectedly found himself out of work.

    TAGS:  Henry, work, eyeglasses, glasses, scissors, Mr. Cornelius Jones

Henry Naps :: Keith

“Woman,” Henry told his wife, “you’re disrupting some important work in zero momentum time travel with that racket, now stop vacuuming and get away from my chair.”

    TAGS:  Henry, work, marriage, chairs, time travel, wife, vacuum, momentum

A Bad Day at Work :: heather

Tearing apart the nurse’s station, searching for the missing Holy Water to baptize a dying baby before the heart stops beating, I think to myself; “I hate this fucking job.”

    TAGS:  work, heart, baby, baptism, holy water

There is no best way to spend the final hour before going to work on a Sunday morning, but sitting outside in the cool air, soaking in warm sun and hot coffee while listening to birds seems as good a way as any.

    TAGS:  coffee, birds, work, relaxation, sun, Sunday

Oh, really? :: 'mouse

Sometimes my job is a tiny bit depressing.

    TAGS:  work, depressing

Contractor Slave :: Keith

The contractor smiled, his true feelings hid, While the customers bemoaned the price on the bid; “If they could they would whip me,” the contractor thought, “Bind me in chains as if I’d been bought; Then they’d let me out mornings to dig in their yard, To do all the work they thought was too hard.”

    TAGS:  work, poetry, cheap labor, slavery

When asked about the mess, the gods told Kierkegaard that sweeping was philosopher’s work.

    TAGS:  work, philosophy, gods, Kierkegaard

warm gin :: 'mouse

Bronwyn looked around the office wondering whether it would be better (less bad?) to drink warm gin from the cat bowl or directly from the bottle.

    TAGS:  alcohol, work, cats, gin, cat bowl, office, warm gin

“Our customer has asked if we’re equipped to submit certifications of compliance for this complicated new law on heavy metal and hazardous materials in China, which we’ve never had to submit before; here’s a really painful article about it by a pair of lawyers,” at which Bronwyn’s ears pricked up ever so slightly.

    TAGS:  work, Bronwyn, china, legal, complicated

i just found out that my job has been eliminated, found out from a co-worker who was at the meeting where it was announced on friday, but nobody in charge even bothered to let me know, which would have been nice if only to keep me from buying the clothing i finally bought this weekend to wear to it.

    TAGS:  work

Apparently, ‘the power of Christ compels you’ is not a valid reason for my boss to give me a raise.

    TAGS:  work, baby, Jesus, footwear

Boot had always wondered how she might one day get fired from her job, but little did she realise that it would all come down to tagging.

    TAGS:  work, scrine addiction

LSAT Approacheth 2 :: 'mouse

“It’s only a test,” taunted the negotiator, “besides, what’s one lawyer more or less,” knowing full well that the fire department had already positioned the catch-net and loving this part of her job best.

    TAGS:  work, lawyers, test, fire department, negotiators

Cruel sky :: 'mouse

The fluffy white clouds and the beautiful blue sky mocked the working man.

    TAGS:  sky, work, colour, clouds, blue - the colour, color, fluffy, mock, white

immaturity :: littledevilworks

Is it immature of me to hope that when I quit the whole office goes to hell in a handbasket?

    TAGS:  work, hope, immature, Schadenfreude

Sisyphus :: littledevilworks

Some days Tammy feels like all she does is push the damn boulder up the hill, other days she’s running for her life as the boulder threatens to crush her.

    TAGS:  work, boulders, Sisyphus

You may have your own Personal Jesus, but I have to share Jesus the one-eyed superjanitor with the rest of the people in my office building.

    TAGS:  work, Jesus

monday morning :: You can call me, 'Sir'

I feel stabbier than usual this morning, which doesn’t bode well for the people with whom I share an office.

    TAGS:  work, office, irritable

Applying a type of accounting leverage I hadn’t thought existed, the auditor bent me over her knee and squeezed until several pennies popped from my butt and landed on the desk; “That was different,” I told her, to which she replied, “No, that was a start,” as she gave me another squeeze.

    TAGS:  work, accountants, ridiculous encounters, butt, pennies, leverage

the thanksgiving flee :: littledevilworks

“Thanksgiving Flee”: The phenomenon whereby employees are required to work a half-day before Thanksgiving and sit munching leftover Halloween candy until the clock strikes one and the delighted mob flees the building.

    TAGS:  work, Thanksgiving

Flee :: pam

“I believe the clock above the door of the office is seriously off,” remarked my boss in his too-sober manner, tacitly tipping me off that I am allowed to leave work early today if I choose, and blythely overlooking the certainty that I’d have done so anyway.

    TAGS:  work, holidays

Working At Home :: Keith

Henry wondered if he should knock off early from work for the holiday, but kept putting it off on account of not wanting to shower and get dressed.

    TAGS:  Henry, work, holidays

flee’d :: 'mouse

“Since you’re gonna let me go home early Wednesday I don’t see any point in coming in for just a few hours tomorrow,” announced my secretary who was last seen at 4:59pm on Tuesday.

    TAGS:  work, holidays

What I’d really love for my birthday is to have Dennis Hopper call all of the difficult people in my life (customers, certain co-workers, attitudinal friends, etc.) and shout at them in the manner of Frank Booth in Blue Velvet until they are reduced to piles of quivering fear-goo, but somehow I’ve a feeling that a steep price tag would be attached.

    TAGS:  work, intimidation, Dennis Hopper

Reality, amended :: bakerina

They’re just empty boxes, so please stop yelling at me when you can’t get them exactly when and where you want them.

    TAGS:  work, boxes, pettiness

a hard days work :: littledevilworks

Tammy began this day like any other: she checked her email, did the daily crossword, checked her blog reader, did the daily sudoku, surfed the web a bit, got a cup of tea and then settled in for 10 minutes of work before quitting time.

    TAGS:  work, procrastination

Happiness is… :: littledevilworks

Making a list of all the things you do at work to give to your supervisor with your resignation letter so she knows how many things she has to reassign within that 2 week notice.

    TAGS:  work

Batshit crazy :: 'mouse

After things had quieted down a bit Patrick subtley inclined his head indicating Henrietta and confided to Juan, “She’s my client and you know what? I love it when they’re batshit crazy like that—I double their retainer on the spot—I don’t mind working for crazy, but I’m damn well gonna get well paid for it.”

    TAGS:  work, Juan, crazy, batshit crazy, Henrietta

Grud has been off pottering around in various aspects of life - in particular, experimenting with just how much sleep deprivation one person can handle, having a full *actual* life, building empires in Second Life, working AND spending time or catching up with the people I love - all which leaves very little time to nap.

    TAGS:  grud, work, naps, sleep deprivation, second life

Muriel envied her coworker Roger’s “down time”, admired his nerve as he played computer Solitaire, and positively seethed with resentment that he didn’t even have Christmas shopping because his wife had done it all for him.

    TAGS:  work, Muriel, coworkers, men

Rufus thinks he might apply for an anthropologist’s assistant job he saw advertised on a flyer down at the student union, but my friend Schuster says that with his thick, sloped brow, Rufus is only qualified to volunteer for psychology experiments, and besides, gainful employment would keep him from his hobby of unsuccessfully picking up college girls.

    TAGS:  work, Rufus & Schuster, Schuster, Rufus, anthropology

Whenever Fender fell asleep at his desk, he’d wake to the smell of Sharpie pens and rude drawings all over his head.

    TAGS:  work, sleep, Fender - the character, baldness, Sharpies

My duties sometimes involve acting polite and official, but I’m also allowed to swear gently if plunging a difficult toilet.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, toilets, swearing

Tiny little girls will sit at the door, eat snacks and giggle while the chief plunges the toilet, oblivious to the awesome plugging power of toilet paper.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, toilets

It was not the first time the chief had encountered a conniving old woman, nor would it be his last.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, conniving

When the tenant presented him with the broken sprinkler head, the chief shook his fist at the heavens, cursing the foolish human need for manicured lawns.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, lawns, human folly

The chief wasted no time on calculations regarding his terrible salary, since the way he saw it, anything was better than the weight of 144 cubic feet of Oregon soil bearing down on his chest.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, Oregon

As he made his morning rounds, the chief realized that time had somehow turned him into a village constable.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief

It occurred to the chief that there were probably very few jobs on earth that gave you the power to choose your neighbors.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, convenience

When the chief went to work on Sunday afternoons, it never felt anything like church until one of the older residents would show up to preach about the irritating noise of skateboard wheels on the sidewalk outside their window.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, church, noise, preaching, skateboards

The chief expressed great concern for the kids in the pool and the deafening click of the their many chattering baby teeth; later he would smile to himself as he walked by the heater without touching the dial.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, baby teeth, chattering, concern

Calling in well :: 'mouse

If I wasn’t self-employed, I’d definitely call in sick today and go play in the summer sun.

    TAGS:  work, excuses, self-employment

Words bounce off quasi-padded cells, like rubber balls off schoolyard pavement, losing a little bit of themselves with each impact statement.

    TAGS:  work, government, rubber balls

The chief was always intrigued by the different types of bugs the foreign nationals left behind for him.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, bugs, intrigue

The chief didn’t collect the hair he was called in to remove from the hundreds of clogged drains, but he imagined if he ever did, he could have built himself one heck of a voodoo doll.

    TAGS:  hair, work, The Chief, voodoo

When the resident asked him to take off his shoes before entering the bedroom because, as she so plainly put it, “God is in there,” the only thing that came to mind was the image of God stopping by the office to fill out the rental application.

    TAGS:  work, god, The Chief, shoes, belief

One of the things the chief enjoyed about his new job was that he could climb into the shower at home 20 minutes before he was supposed to be at work, get out, take his time getting dressed, write a Scrine sentence, and still make it to work 10 minutes early.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, commuting, convenience

The chief came to realize that religious beliefs had very little to do with the plugging of toilets, and that Hindu shit plunged just as hard as Christian shit, and vice versa.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, toilets, Christians, shit, religion, hindu

Although the apartment complex wasn’t marketed as a god complex, some of the residents’ actions made the chief think that maybe it could be.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, attitude, marketing, god complex

Polishing away, the chief couldn’t help but think that the office had more brass in it than a Jules Verne submarine.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, brass, submarines, Jules Verne

When the applicant pointed out that her husband’s job before becoming a missionary had been at Starbucks, the chief couldn’t help but say, “Coffee and God - both important jobs.”

    TAGS:  coffee, work, god, The Chief, Starbucks, missionary

When giving tours of the property to prospective residents, the chief always made it a point to tell people that even though they would feel at home if they chose to move in, they would, under no circumstances whatsoever, be allowed to drape shirts and trousers over the treadmills.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, exercise, trousers, treadmills

Wading through the clutter, the chief imagined this is what it would look like if Sears blew up.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, clutter, housekeeping, Sears

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