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Last week I met with a numerologist with the hope of understanding my failed marriages, but all she could come up with for my fifty bucks were a few tentative dates when I may or may not lose another wallet, and/or car keys, and my pet turtle (which I’m both excited and sad about, since I don’t currently have a pet turtle, but am now worried about getting someday, since it sounds like I’ll just lose him.)

    TAGS:  turtles, numbers

reincarnation :: 'mouse

I’m only interested in reincarnation if I can come back as a giant sea turtle.

    TAGS:  turtles, reincarnation

“Just a few scratches on the boy,” the doctor reassured Timmy’s mother, “nothing serious at all; but you might want to have his eyes examined, because he really should have seen that tortoise coming.”

    TAGS:  accident prone, eyes, Timmy, turtles, tortoises

Timmy’s Turtle :: Keith

“I thought you’d be more loving,” Timmy told the turtle as he dropped it into the lake.

    TAGS:  love, animals, disappointment, Timmy, turtles, lakes, pets

pearls :: boot

These turtles are making me bubble.

    TAGS:  turtles, bubbles, pearls

Grumpy Turtle :: Keith

Timmy never did understand why the turtle was so grumpy in the morning.

    TAGS:  animals, Timmy, turtles, grumpy, boyhood adventure, pets

Even from this dizzying height you wouldn’t fall forever, Imaginary Keith thought, and carefully slid himself back away from the edge.

    TAGS:  dreams, turtles

No one ever saw his lucky turtle and many believed it to be but one more figment of his imagination; nevertheless, Artemus lived a charmed life and people did notice an odd snapping noise and an obvious dearth of water insects wherever he was present.

    TAGS:  turtles

To prove his love, Timmy would sometimes kidnap his own turtle and demand huge, impossible ransoms, which he gladly paid.

    TAGS:  Timmy, turtles, ransom, kidnapping

dream :: boot

Of the daffodils, of the purple coloured turtles, of the details of the tiny ladybugs, of the giddy laughter, of the pigtails in bright, red ribbons, of her vibrant, startling youth, then stand quietly with her and dream and wish for magic and stories.

    TAGS:  Becky the Harlequin, red, purple, harlequin, turtles, daffodils, giddy, vibrant

Timmy never tired of playing pirate, but his pet turtle, balanced precariously on the boy’s small shoulder in the role of faithful parrot, could have done with a bit less swashbuckling.

    TAGS:  pirates, Timmy, turtles

Timmy found it increasingly difficult to tickle his turtle’s fancy.

    TAGS:  turtles, tickle

Henry told his turtle how looking at their wrinkled skin made him reflect on his lost youth; the turtle said nothing, but staring up at Henry, found himself oddly recalling the time he’d eaten some bad carp.

    TAGS:  Henry, aging, anthropomorphism, carp, turtles

“If you don’t stop talking about your excruciatingly slow shopping spree this very moment,” Timothy Tortoise told his wife, “you’re going to make me late for the pinochle tournament.”

    TAGS:  anthropomorphism, turtles, Name an Animal Week, tortoises, pinochle

"I'm looking for some place different," Peter told the realtor, "where the air is fresh and turtles run wild."

    TAGS:  Peter, turtles, realtors, fresh air, the good life

"Amazonian Butterflies Drink Turtle Tears."

    TAGS:  tears, butterflies, turtles

Timmy wished the Amazon turtles weren't so sad.

    TAGS:  tears, amazon, Timmy, turtles

Timmy, a previously uncaring little boy, watched mortified as the turtle became covered in a crazy, multicoloured blanked of humming, tear-supping butterflies.

    TAGS:  Becky the Harlequin, tears, butterflies, turtles, humming

Some thought the turtle tears would be a powerful aphrodisiac, but soon found out it only made them run slow and unreasonably fearful of butterflies.

    TAGS:  aphrodisiacs, butterflies, turtles


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