The last safe refuge of the talking dog

What is Scrine?

• Scrine is the home of lost, forgotten, and lonely sentences.

What are the rules?

• Play nice. Be kind. Post only single sentences.

• Scrine gives everyone plenty of rope to play with, but reminds everyone that even the longest rope is capable of hanging a person.

• Censorship is ugly, but still not the ugliest bird in the sky. Happily, this has never been necessary.

• The appropriateness of all sentences will remain the sole discretion of Scrine's tender.

Who can play?

• Anyone. Reading along costs nothing but time.

• Membership is required to post your own sentences. Joining is quick and painless.

• With membership comes the unique privilege of calling yourself a Scriner.

What about privacy?

• Your information will never be sold, given away, shared, or even traded for an unimaginably delicious slice of pie.

• The above sentence may be the only sentence on this site that is 100% true.

's notes

Use this space for notes and reminders to yourself.

This is a private space. Only you will see your notes.

Expiration date is not required, only if you want the note to magically disappear.

A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."

Please Choose

Enjoy the Benefits!

  • Words, glorious words.

  • Many fine examples of semicolon abuse.

  • Best secret handshake west of the Mississippi.

Member Log In



 Remember me

Show my name in the online users list

      Lost your password?

Become a Scriner!



A password will be e-mailed to you.

Scrine Restoration

Sentences: 100% (19120)
Comments: 11%

Confessional: 100%
Scrineblog: 18.4%

boot blog: 100%
'mouse blog: 0%

Logged In


Subscribed To:

  • What? No tag subscriptions?
  • Do you require a doctor?


That has got to be the lamest spam/virus header I’ve ever received in my in-box—so lame I nearly opened it out of pity.

    TAGS:  spam, lame

Mr. Hatchet S. Clyde paused in his ceaseless work at the keyboard, stared downward without really seeing the familiar letters, numbers, and characters, and wondered (not for the first time) just how many ways one could mispell the word ‘viagra’ and still keep it recognizable.

    TAGS:  spam, Viagra, nine billion names, spam man, Mr. Hatchet S. Clyde

in regards to the spammers that are waging war against keith, and therefore, me and a few other of my friends: lemme at em, i’ve got all my carving tools out and lined up.

    TAGS:  war, spam

spam-jones :: pam

“This week, I shall write a scrine inspired by every spam name I read,” declared Mima Meadows to the bus station patrons at large, loftily disregarding the fact she made absolutely no sense to the uninitiated.

    TAGS:  scrine idiosyncrasies, spam, Spam Jones

spam with that? :: boot

Post holidays, all you really want is some nice fried eggs (and another holiday).

    TAGS:  cubicles, spam, email

“If you’d told me,” remarked Mrs. Edwina Aguirre around a mouthful of bread, “that one day I’d be sitting on a saxophone case in a bus station garage, sharing a sandwich with a spam writer from Nashville and wondering whether we would get back on the road before a tornado hit town, I’d've said you was loco en la cabeza.”

    TAGS:  spam, bus stations, Edwina Aguirre, Greyhound bus, spam writer, loco, Nashville

cham :: boot

Cham doesn’t sound like a word, so it’s a good thing that the inventors of spam didn’t use curry powder instead of ‘spice’.

    TAGS:  spam, cham, cham, curry, inventors

I mince therefore I spam.

    TAGS:  bad puns, spam

career choice :: Br. Ezra

Chester’s high school guidance counselor became concerned when the young man listed driving the spammobile as his top career choice.

    TAGS:  school, choice, byproducts, bologna, spam, cold cuts, lunch meat, pig byproducts

Dear Spammerati: No, I *won’t* love it when he rogers me with something so big I can feel it in my tonsils, so we opt not to buy your product at this time; Yours, etc., Bakerina…p.s. I believe that this is what the youngsters refer to as EPIC FAIL.

    TAGS:  spam, tonsils

Thanks for nothing, spam, because your email “The little man in your pants will be your bodyguard” has done nothing at all for me except make me hear Whitney Houston songs in my head every time I go to the bathroom.

    TAGS:  spam, bodyguard, Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him buy a quality timepiece at a discount price just by spamming his email account, and you certainly can’t make him click on a link that promises a bigger penis because, well, for starters, horses are smarter than that, and secondly, he’s a horse, if you know what I mean.

    TAGS:  spam, horses, penis

“A good woman is like a big pot in a poker game,” Milton the Bastard told the waitress, “and no matter how good you bluff or how good your cards are, some sneaky bastard across the table is going to steal it from you, so yes, to answer your question, I am ready for breakfast, but I’ll have coffee only, and make sure it’s hot this time.”

    TAGS:  spam, French, Milton the Bastard

Of course, he could have changed his name to something more pronounceable - or at least, he could have thrown a vowel or two into his first name when his father wasn’t looking - but as it happened, the very moment in his adulthood when he’d finally gained ascendancy was the moment he came to fully value his first name as a shield against the jolly familiarity of strangers.

    TAGS:  spam

To Fender, “The Pied Piper of chicks” sounded less like a Viagra spam header and more like a man who could make whole communities of chicken farmers very angry.

    TAGS:  chickens, chicken - the bird, Fender - the character, spam, Pied Piper, Viagra

Nobody. :: 'mouse

Spam Fail: ‘Mouse, do you know who looks at your facebook profile?

    TAGS:  spam, Facebook, fail, privacy

As my finger hovered over the "delete spam" button I changed my mind, figuring that reading about the abandoned package of small unmarked bills that the service agent at the Atlanta airport wants to share with me (70% to me and 30% to him, for only a small processing fee of $3,800 which I am to advance) would be far more interesting than anything else going on at 3:30pm on a Thursday afternoon in October.

    TAGS:  spam, Thursday afternoon blahs


Copyright @ 2005 - 2018

163 queries in 0.9520 seconds