Scrabble's illegitimate love child






What is Scrine?

• Scrine is the home of lost, forgotten, and lonely sentences.


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• The appropriateness of all sentences will remain the sole discretion of Scrine's tender.



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• The above sentence may be the only sentence on this site that is 100% true.



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A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."



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Sex
cunning linguist :: 'mouse

’Mouse wasn’t sure which amazed him more, that he had thought to wonder out loud on Scrine whether or not cunnilingus could transmit a cold virus, that he’d spelled it right on the first attempt, or that Word’s spellchecker actually purred slightly in approval as he ran the word through it.

    TAGS:  sex, cunnilingus


old :: 'mouse

They say that the normal teenage male averages one thought about sex every 17 seconds; I know I’m getting old because sometimes I go 45 seconds or even a minute between such thoughts.

    TAGS:  aging, sex, old, teens


Taking it public :: 'mouse

’Mouse and Goliard had been having a discussion in which ‘Mouse posited that it might be a Good Thing if his wife. Mrs. ‘Mouse, had an affair—ideally, it would make her feel sexy and desireable and reawaken feelings in her that ‘Mouse wasn’t so good at awakening anymore now that they’d fallen into old-married-person routine (despite doing his best to be a caring and attentive lover), and if things held true for women the way statistics and anecdotal evidence says it does for men, it would be very unlikely she would leave him and the family for her new lover—it would just be a dalliance which would ultimately underline for her her commitment to the long term with ‘Mouse while increasing the net-pleasure in her life; Goliard appeared to disagree with the premise though she jokingly (?) admitted to harboring some interest in the old sexy UPS-driver fantasy as a means to spice up her own sex life.

    TAGS:  marriage, sex, affairs


Gratification :: Keith

In old men, sex has a way of becoming replaced by the pleasure of a fresh haircut.

    TAGS:  aging, sex


time warp. :: goliard

when (exactly) did sex, drugs and rock’n’roll become ‘checks, prescriptions, and fixing the toilet bowl’?

    TAGS:  aging, sex, drugs


“That’s alright, Ted,” Emily lied as she hurried out the door, “lots of people throw up during sex.”

    TAGS:  sex, vomit, gross


Robot Sex :: Keith

Although the whole robot sex industry continued to grow and flourish, Henry still preferred his sex the old-fashioned way - seldom.

    TAGS:  Henry, sex, robots, old-fashioned ways, sex industry


“It’s funny,” Henry said to his wife, not realizing he was about to alter his own future, “but I just now realized that filing that tax extension makes me feel better than our Monday sex.”

    TAGS:  Henry, marriage, sex, altered realities, taxes


wake up calls :: grudknows

The dominatrix training started with baby steps - today it was slapping people upside the head but tomorrow - tomorrow they got whips!

    TAGS:  sex, fetish, dominatrix, whips


“This just ain’t right, I’m not getting my money’s worth out of the tequila,” Juan muttered under his breath as he realized he had made his wife significantly more margaritas during their marriage than they had made love, “perhaps more tequila is required.”

    TAGS:  marriage, sex, tequila, margaritas, tequila makes her clothes fall off


Every time his his friends mentioned eating any type of Asian food, Gerald always interrupted, “What’s the biggest problem with making love to an Asian?” much to his friends’ amusement - not.

    TAGS:  love, food, sex, friends, Asian, problems


Early research into the new brain-wasting disease (which scientists suspect may be a variant of mad cow disease) indicates it only seems to to affect Republican politicians, striking first in the portion of the brain which causes most people to refrain from seeking gay sex with strangers in public restrooms.

    TAGS:  sex, brains, politics, homosexuality, research


Sometimes the neighbor next door will wake me up at 3 a.m. to tell me her boyfriend’s name is “Oh Joe, Oh Joe, Oh Joe,” although this morning, I’m betting she just calls him plain ol’ Joe.

    TAGS:  sex, overheard


The first time she experienced cunnilingus, Rhonda thought this guy is trying to impress me.

    TAGS:  sex, cunnilingus, impress


Brent’s replica #2 :: Br. Ezra

After only one night Brent’s wife prefered his replica to the orginal model especially the rotating parts with variable speed and how he always vacummed the house after sex.

    TAGS:  sex, vacuum, life-like replicas


Sex is, indeed, the perfect Thanksgiving desert but from this side of the door it sounds like two whoopie cushions making love.

    TAGS:  sex, desert, making love, whoopie cushions


“Kinsey noted that the length of time over which the erection can be maintained under “continuous erotic arousal” drops from an average of nearly an hour in the late teens and early twenties to seven minutes in men in their late sixties.”

    TAGS:  sex, arousal, erections, erotica, Kinsey, statistics


“Anyway one figure that will do for a starter is the fifteen hours recorded by Mae West in her autobiography - a man called ‘Ted’ apparently made love to her for this length of time: He later said that ‘he was both astounded and pleased at his own abilities.’”

    TAGS:  sex, Mae West


Rufus and my friend Schuster both agreed it was ethically responsible of the world to fight for a Middle Eastern woman’s right to wear a short skirt, and when I tried to point out that I thought their discussion had jumped the tracks somewhere, and seemed to just be about sex, again, Schuster’s rebuttal was that all men’s discussions were “technically” about sex in some shape or form, a point which Rufus wholeheartedly agreed with.

    TAGS:  Rufus & Schuster, sex, Schuster, Rufus, ethics


“I find Hillary Clinton kind of hot,” slurred Larry, continuing the thought way too far, “For her, I’d put on a blue dress and crawl under her desk any time.”

    TAGS:  sex, Ann Coulter, disturbing images, Hillary Clinton


Rufus says he’s glad he’s not a dog, but my friend Schuster told him he’s wrong, because given the 7 to 1 time ratio, if he could get away with humping the neighbor’s leg for only ten seconds, it’d be like having sex with her for more than a full minute; this was a perspective, Rufus admitted, that he hadn’t considered.

    TAGS:  aging, Rufus & Schuster, sex, Schuster, Rufus, dog years, humping


Carl would often stare at coworker’s breasts for hours at a time, yet because of his dysexlexia, often confused one breast for the other.

    TAGS:  sex, Carl, dyslexia


theory :: littledevilworks

It is my theory that when you turn out the lights and lock your doors and leave your domicile, all of your stuff gets together and has sex and reproduces like rabbits; this is the only possible rational explanation for why I have so much stuff.

    TAGS:  sex, rational, moving is hell


Heartbreak, sex is thy name!

    TAGS:  sex, disappointment, heartbreak


Rufus thinks that maybe he should be more careful about downloading music, but my friend Schuster told him not to worry because eventually everyone would realize that music was just like sex, and that paying for it was fine as long as you didn’t make it a habit.

    TAGS:  music, Rufus & Schuster, sex, ethics, pop-ethics


The chief remained straight-faced as 85 year old Doris complained about the squeaking bed of her young, upstairs neighbors, which began around midnight and didn’t let up until around 5 a.m.; “I don’t know what they could be up to jumping in and out of bed like that,” Doris complained, “but I suppose playing cards or something.”

    TAGS:  sex, The Chief, straight-faced, squeaking


Hero :: 'mouse

Wilt Chamberlain is my hero; I always wanted to score like that.

    TAGS:  sex, basketball, scoring, Wilt Chamberlain


A Devil’s Three-Way :: Br. Ezra

A priest and two altar boys is sometimes refered to as a devils three-way, especially if the despicable bastard has the gall to say mass shortly after.

    TAGS:  sex, priests, mass, devil's three-way


God Likes Sex :: Keith

God likes sex so much that the world grows raw and has trouble walking most mornings.

    TAGS:  god, sex


At Parties :: Jo

She was a big ol’ geek but she attended social occasions nevertheless, being of the opinion that you can’t drink too many margaritas or eat too many chips in life, and really, people are interested in conversing on two subjects only: themselves, and, metaphorically, themselves having sex.

    TAGS:  sex, geeks, margaritas, socializing


Hmmm… :: JadedBeauty

She pondered the possibility of turning an excrutiatingly inconsiderate, selfish, womanizing ex-lover into a toe curling, no strings attached, partner in coitus..

    TAGS:  sex, coitus, ex-lover, womanizer


If it were socially acceptable I would drape my body in red velvet cake and smear cream cheese frosting all over my nipples and other sundry naughty parts.

    TAGS:  sex, cake, bakery items, pasties


Henry understood that most of Freud’s ideas were largely discredited by the academic community, yet he couldn’t help but notice that every 20 minutes or so he found himself thinking of sex or food, and on really stressful days - both.

    TAGS:  food, sex, daydreaming, Freud


It really doesn’t matter how many daisies you pick and pluck, “I’ll lose my virginity this year; I won’t lose my virginity this year” between the ages of 12 and whenever, you won’t lose your virginity until “Daisy” picks and plucks you.

    TAGS:  love, sex, virginity, daisy plucking, sentence-a-year


Nderitu Njoka, founder of the Maendeleo Ya Wanaume, told newspapers that Kenyan women boycotting sex for 10 days to make a political point were “trying to use sex as a tool to molest men in the society.”

    TAGS:  sex, boycott, Kenya


“Feeling constrictingly chivalrous, Henry screwed the duck!”

    TAGS:  Henry, sex, duck - the bird, duck, duck, bogus, chivalry


I just discovered that “kids these days” have completely redefined the bases.

    TAGS:  sex, love baseball


Hip math geeks have always known that the sine wave represents the history of sexual deviancy.

    TAGS:  sex, sine wave


Intimacy :: 'mouse

Juan’s problem with the whole, “oral isn’t sex” paradigm shift was that he always personally felt that oral (whether giving or receiving) was really a more intimate act than missionary-style sex.

    TAGS:  sex


You know the internet is dead when you encounter a picture of a man and a scorpion gettin’ it on: face in palm.

    TAGS:  sex, dead, Internet, unfortunate, pictures, scorpion


Kudos to Keith :: 'mouse

I can’t say that the Amazing Scrine Music Collection is better than sex in any given six-minute period, but If I had to give up one or the other ‘mrs. ‘mouse would be singing “Sisters are Doin’ it for Themselves.”

    TAGS:  music, sex, music and sex


Some of my best rug burns came from shag carpets, but I’m not sure if that was due to the carpet or just natural youthful enthusiasm.

    TAGS:  sex, shag carpet, rug burns


Sex is Funny :: Br. Ezra

The reason I watch so much porn is to remind me that sex is absurdly funny, which explains why I wind up reading Camus and Sartre immediately following coitus.

    TAGS:  sex, existentialism, coitus, Camus, funny, Sartre


Recreational sex (or recreational anything, for that matter) has almost nothing in common with a bushel of turnips.

    TAGS:  sex, absolute truths, bushel, turnips


So, it turns out that a huge proportion of today's punk rockers and generally disreputable musician types are into "clean living" and veganism and treating everyone with sensitivity and com-freakin'-passion and shit... count me shocked and offended!

    TAGS:  sex, drugs, rock and roll, punk rock, musicians


The dream felt a bit out of the ordinary when the manta ray cornered him and appeared ready to attack, but it really got weird when she cuddled up against him and forced herself upon in him an overtly sexual manner.

    TAGS:  sex, dream, dream, manta ray


 

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