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#8759302-1 :: grudknows

“Being in the unemployment system is so demoralising”, I sigh to my mother across thousands of kilometers of phone line before finishing the sentence that I’d started, “that I might have to consider prostitution just to pay the bills” a statement that is met as expected, unenthusiastically and tossed aside off with, “well, I’m sure something will come up and if you think job hunting is hard at your age, imagine it when you get to my age” to which I replied “yeah”, (sighing), “I have considered it and I’d *definitely* need to become a prositute then”, again she tried to brush off my temporary mostly-joking nuttiness with, “no one will want to pay for your services at that age, you’ll be too old” but I had her there too with, “Oh… there’s all sorts of sexual deviants out there, people are in to everything, someone will want to pay” at which point she gave up and I felt waves of motherly eye rolling before she handed the phone on to my father.

    TAGS:  unemployment, demoralising, prostitution, parents

Confronted, Henry denied knowing the call girl, but was soon caught in his lie when the topic of ducks came up.

    TAGS:  Henry, ducks, duck - the bird, call girls, lies, prostitution

Officer Wormwood announced to the vice unit, “Remember that nut, Meg—well, she’s hooked up with Cinnamon and Ginger and they’re hooking on 54th Street for the flashy pimp they call Punkin Pie.”

    TAGS:  Spice Cops, cinnamon, ginger, prostitution

Arriving in Heaven, Henry was surprised to find out that his 82 years on Earth had been nothing more than a prison sentence for jaywalking near the pearly gate the first time he’d arrived; what surprised him even more, however, was finding out his wife was back on Earth doing time for angelic prostitution.

    TAGS:  Henry, Heaven - the place, prostitution, jaywalking, pearly gates

Wesley never thought saying, “I’ll give you a dollar if you’ll let me hold your hand,” would work, until she gave him a one dollar off coupon disguised as a playful bump.

    TAGS:  prostitution


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