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Lawyers
pond scum :: 'mouse

I heard someone say that according to a recent survey, Realtors are a lower form of pond scum than lawyers. I’m not sure if I get much comfort from that.

    TAGS:  1st Sentence, Bent Rule Club, lawyers, realtors, scum, ponds


coffee cup wisdom :: 'mouse

One of my office manager’s coffee cups delivers the following advice:  “If it rings, put it on hold; if it clanks, call the repairman; if it whistles, ignore it; if it’s a friend, take a break; if it’s a boss, look busy; if it talks, take notes; if it’s handwritten, type it; if it’s typed, copy it; if it’s copied, file it; if it’s Friday, forget it,” her other cup simply inspires with the words, “My lawyer can beat up your lawyer.”

    TAGS:  coffee, work, advice, lawyers


Bob’s Lawyer :: 'mouse

As Bob sat looking across the desk at his lawyer he thought, if people would just be nice to each other, these smart folks could dedicate their considerable intelligence to far more productive pursuits.

    TAGS:  Bob, lawyers


When it takes two bar-card carrying lawyers over four collective hours ($1000+ in billings) just to open a bank account to deposit a $250,000 check from a title company on behalf of their American citizen clients who have just sold a house, then the terrorists have won.

    TAGS:  lawyers


The earth goddess, after standing on a chair and reciting Shakesphere to friends, decided to become a lawyer.

    TAGS:  lawyers, balance, Shakespeare, earth goddess, reciting


Doyle studied the angel feather sticking out of his bran muffin, unsure of who to sue.

    TAGS:  angels, feathers, lawyers, muffins, lawsuits


“I don’t trust lawyers,” Henry told his friend, “but only because of their bathroom habits.”

    TAGS:  Henry, friends, bathrooms, lawyers, habits


The idea of becoming a lawyer had occurred to him first as a form of rebuttal to his friend’s opinion that the nearest thing to a lawyer is a privateer; gradually he was seduced by the idea.** This sentence slightly modified from the original.

    TAGS:  lawyers, rebuttal, privateer


LSAT approacheth :: 'mouse

“If you say, ‘It’s only a test’ one more time, I’m definitely going to jump,” the future lawyer told the negotiator as she edged further out on the high ledge.

    TAGS:  lawyers, desperation, jump, test, ledge, negotiators


LSAT Approacheth 2 :: 'mouse

“It’s only a test,” taunted the negotiator, “besides, what’s one lawyer more or less,” knowing full well that the fire department had already positioned the catch-net and loving this part of her job best.

    TAGS:  work, lawyers, fire department, test, negotiators


Chester created a sock puppet lawyer from an old tube sock so that he could have representation present when he renegotiated his contract for the next year.

    TAGS:  socks, lawyers, puppets, contract negotiation, negotiations, sock puppets


ever early to the party, i wish we’d hear from the burfday lawyer!

    TAGS:  lawyers


Sometimes I wish people would just be nice to each other, but then I remember that my entire professional career exists because so many people are mean, greedy, and/or stupid.

    TAGS:  lawyers, careers


I’m about halfway through the trial brief, and I am engrossed; Lloyd is just going to have to wait on dinner.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, lawyers, engrossed


Oh Dear :: Jo

In my experience, a letter from a lawyer is rarely filled with good news.

    TAGS:  lawyers, news, letters


Avocados :: 'mouse

I know that “advogados” refers to my attorneys in Brazil, but I still can’t keep from imagining that tasty green fruits are somehow involved.

    TAGS:  avocados, lawyers, Brazil


I’ve been a lawyer for just over two weeks, and already my relationship with adverbs has been ruined.

    TAGS:  adverbs, lawyers


The best recommendation a lawyer ever gets is when his adversaries' clients pass his name along to their friends and family.

    TAGS:  lawyers, karma


If I could get through just one day without having to deal with ignorance or stupidity, I'd be happy, but I doubt that will ever happen while my law license is active.

    TAGS:  Aaargh, lawyers, idiots


 

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