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A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."
Josie’s irrational fear of belly buttons was well-known by her adolescent children; they could interrupt any long-winded maternal lecture just by tilting up their shirt hems in unison.
Josie confided all her medical issues to her sons, but to her daughters, Josie conveyed nothing unless it was strictly necessary - which it rarely was - with the result that, as is so often true in human nature, the sons and the daughters bitterly envied each other.
It was in her empty-nest years that Josie set about filling her home with her own unique combination of hobbies: hound dogs, beer, graphic design, blogging, quiltmaking, and fantasy football.
Josie had no patience for theological debate; to her, Heaven was every bit as real as Japan: mysterious and beautiful, full of people, a place one admires distantly but should hold off visiting as long as possible.
“Don’t feel pressured to give me grandchildren,” Josie told her adult children last Christmas, “because if I ever want to play with a little baby of my own again, I can always just steal one.”
In the hospital, Josie quickly discerned the staff pecking order; she snapped at the doctor, back talked to the PT, and positively tormented the lab tech, but the nurses she treated like royalty.
On Christmases and birthdays, Josie would gift her ex-husband with his own possessions, originally won by her in the divorce decree; the self-help books he gave her in return she threw out in the yard where the hounds would chew them.
Above all things, Josie hated socialism, bureaucracy, medicine, being told what to do, and growing old; it was little wonder she regarded her Medicare years as nothing less than a confluence of governmental abuses.
Josie noticed that if she kept a bunch of bananas in her kitchen, they would sit untouched until they turned brown, but whenever she bought just one banana, her kids would fight over it.
Josie liked to tell people that she was the reincarnation of one of her own dogs (or vice versa), explaining that, if it was possible to live more than one life, a little thing like the manipulation of time and space could not be that tough.
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