Where memory comes to rant and rave, and heroes still use Burma-Shave

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straight lines :: Keith

When it comes to walking straight lines here on this farm, the order goes: cow, duck, chicken, rabbit, cat, human, dog; yet oddly enough, when it comes to telling a straight story, the order goes: cow, duck, chicken, rabbit, cat, dog, human.

    TAGS:  chickens, cats, ducks, duck - the bird, chicken - the bird, cows, country life, humans, rabbits, farm life

The couger looked down on the city lights far below and at the new jogging trail much closer, licked its paw and contemplated its hunger.

    TAGS:  humans, hunger

Stupid Animals :: Keith

It’s a good thing animals are so stupid, or they’d be doing things like inventing money, getting jobs, and showing up at church on Sunday.

    TAGS:  animals, humans

I used to have a human for a manager and he treated me like people do, he was real, he was Australian and he was from the land; now he has gone and I have a textbook for a manager and she engages me as a stakeholder would, she is plastic, she is American, she is from the Ivory Tower and I, I am lost.

    TAGS:  change, Australia, humans, emotionless

All of our orifices are protected by some kind of viscous, disgusting fluid, and I, for one, propose filling up the unused holes with nice clean putty.

    TAGS:  body parts, humans, disgusting, orifice

Jungle Law :: Keith

“The humans taste like zucchini,” the tiger said to the jungle animal quorum, “and as everyone here is well-aware, one can only eat so many zucchini.”

    TAGS:  anthropomorphism, humans, zucchini, quorum, law of the jungle

gentleness :: boot

We need more of it.

    TAGS:  humans, gentleness, need

No, we still have no idea.

    TAGS:  humans, clueless, field guide

I’m not sure it’s even possible, but it certainly appears that large gangs of humans appear to be clotting.

    TAGS:  banality, humans, clots, homogenize

humans :: boot

They never, ever cease to amaze me.

    TAGS:  amaze, e, humans

skin :: boot

How the hell does it hold it all in?

    TAGS:  weird, skin, humans

Set Screw :: Keith

The humans tried their best to stay synchronized with the world, but ignorance was their set screw, and it was set way too tight.

    TAGS:  humans, ignorance, synchronization, set screw

Life on Mars :: Br. Ezra

Greks are no more native to Mars as are humans, but they are not well known for conceding the point.

    TAGS:  humans, Greks, Life on Mars, stubbornness

The human operating system went through many versions before god could edit out the logic loop that, when stuck pondering the meaning of life, caused the system to crash due to the absurdity that we find ourselves existing when it is equally probable that we shouldn’t exist in the first place; therefore a religious belief subroutine needed to be implemented to supply answers that seemed logical despite the lack of physical evidence, fortunately the “patch” gave subjective realities a general feeling of truth, making only a small percentage of those using software version 2.0 likely to even question it.

    TAGS:  god, absurdity, humans, meaning of life, Human Operating System, Religious Belief, software


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