More fun than Shakespeare's bones






What is Scrine?

• Scrine is the home of lost, forgotten, and lonely sentences.


What are the rules?

• Play nice. Be kind. Post only single sentences.

• Scrine gives everyone plenty of rope to play with, but reminds everyone that even the longest rope is capable of hanging a person.

• Censorship is ugly, but still not the ugliest bird in the sky. Happily, this has never been necessary.

• The appropriateness of all sentences will remain the sole discretion of Scrine's tender.



Who can play?

• Anyone. Reading along costs nothing but time.

• Membership is required to post your own sentences. Joining is quick and painless.

• With membership comes the unique privilege of calling yourself a Scriner.


What about privacy?

• Your information will never be sold, given away, shared, or even traded for an unimaginably delicious slice of pie.

• The above sentence may be the only sentence on this site that is 100% true.



's notes



Use this space for notes and reminders to yourself.

This is a private space. Only you will see your notes.

Expiration date is not required, only if you want the note to magically disappear.

A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."



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Enjoy the Benefits!

  • Rub shoulders with literary giants.

  • Many fine examples of semicolon abuse.

  • Best secret handshake west of the Mississippi.

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Guest Scriner
nothing :: 'mouse

“What kind of sensualist craves nothingness?” (sentence unabashedly lifted from Nick Hornby’s How to Be Good.)

    TAGS:  guest scriner, nothing, Nick Hornby


“I work for free; I get paid to be afraid.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, fear, work, Hugh MacLeod


stop thief ii :: 'mouse

"I order another beer to put that part of my mind to sleep."​

    TAGS:  guest scriner, beer, ignoring


“You can have my porn when you pry it out of my warm, gooey hand. “

    TAGS:  guest scriner, porn


“They were like tiny confused birds weaned on a diet of Pop-Tarts and Diet Pepsi and cigarettes and acne medication and then stretched out on racks until they reach six feet tall, at which point they have all traces of authentic femininity surgically removed and their infinitesimal bee-sting breasts sucked into their concave chests to the point where they look like their skin was one giant FoodSaver bag vacuum-sucked around their rib cages, with what appeared to be their butts replaced with these tiny little half-filled water balloons and they marched down the runways like sullen teenagers who never learned to masturbate.” (Mark Morford)

    TAGS:  guest scriner


“What I’m saying is I’m not gonna sit around for hours every day having norgasmic sex with a computer or a TV set. These machines will fuck the life right out of you if you give ‘em half a chance.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, scrine violation, Tim Robbins


“That’s why God made fermented beverages and the blues.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Tom Robbins, solace


And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming, And the lamplight o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from…

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Edgar Allan Poe


Sometimes you’re the bug. (Dire Straits)

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Dire Straits


There is no room for shame in consumer packaging.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, consumer packaging, shame


They were people, she imagined, who did not disapprove of their fellow man, unlike those who patrolled mores today; these people were tolerant, just as gourmets, by and large, tended to have tolerant, expansive outlooks [(removing Scrine-unnecessary period)] [—] it was the obsessive dieters who were unhappy and anxious.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Alexander McCall Smith


We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Auden


Life… is like a grapefruit. It’s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, life, Douglas Adams, grapefruit


“If you’re going to stop a band playing every time someone has an accident, you’ll lead a very strenuous life.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


“a crusty irascible cantankerous old person full of stubborn ideas ”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, crusty, curmudgeon, cantankerous, irascible, stubborn


For it must be remembered that at the time I knew quite nothing, naturally, concerning Milo Payne, the mysterious Cockney-talking Englishman with the checkered long-beaked Sherlockholmsian cap; nor of the latter’s “Barr-Bag” which was as like my own bag as one Milwaukee wienerwurst is like another; nor of Legga, the Human Spider, with her four legs and her six arms; nor of Ichabod Chang, ex-convict, and son of Dong Chang; nor of the elusive poetess, Abigail Sprigge; nor of the Great Simon, with his 2163 pearl buttons; nor of—in short, I then knew quite nothing about anything or anybody involved in the affair of which I had now become a part, unless perchance it were my Nemesis, Sophie Kratzenschneiderwümpel—or Suing Sophie!The Riddle of the Traveling Skull (1934), Harry Stephen Keeler

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Harry Stephen Keeler


“And some nights she was a skank monster, violent and paranoid and gun-crazy.”*

    TAGS:  guest scriner, skank monster


“You thought I was a spy and you stitched me up, but you didn’t even think that I would drag you down with me?”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, detectives, Dashiell Hammett


Are you really sure that a floor can’t also be a ceiling?

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Escher, M.C. Escher


“I’m a princess, ” she reminded herself, with a minimum of conviction, “a princess who grew up in a blackberry patch near Seattle, who’s never so much as set a tennis shoe in the nation where her royal blood was formed, a princess who doesn’t know diddly squat about princessing, a princess who’s behaved like a twit and a twat; who’s been, well, disappointed in men and romance, who’s a bit confused, who’s got a lot to learn, but a princess, after all; just as fucking much as Caroline or Anne, and although in the last quarter of the twentieth century the very idea of royalty may seem artificial, archaic, and somewhat decadent, I insist on my princess-hood because without it I’m just another physically attractive woman with the I-went-to-college-but-it-didn’t-do-me-any-good look and nothing much more to offer anyone.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Tom Robbins, diddly squat, royalty, princesses


“You are all weirdos!”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, weirdos


At the age of thirty-seven she knew she’d found forever, as she rode along through Paris with the warm wind in her hair...

    TAGS:  guest scriner, faithful, Paris


“The tattoo on my leg says, “Each night Tansy would practice drowning”...the first line of my novel, in my handwriting…my way of making a commitment to the book before I sent it out into the world: (n)o matter what happens with it now, good or bad, it’s part of me.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, writing, tattoos, commitment


“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of—but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, writing, Heinlein, Robert Heinlein


Let me tell you how it will be there’s one for you, nineteen for me cuz I’m the taxman

    TAGS:  guest scriner, lyrics, George Harrison, taxman


The River :: 'mouse

By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spellbound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on at him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea. [From Wind in the Willows]

    TAGS:  guest scriner, babbling, Wind in the Willows, rivers, stories, Kenneth Grahame, spellbound


“Whether you get away or whether you don’t; whether you arrive at your destination or whether you reach somewhere else, or whether you never get anywhere at all, you’re always busy, and you never do anything in particular; and when you’ve done it there’s always something else to do, and you can do it if you like, but you’d much better not.” [from Wind in the Willows]

    TAGS:  guest scriner, boats, Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame, messing around


And your achievement towers like a smoking chimney stack, There’ll be a quack and right there at your feet, A little duck will stand.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, ducks, duck - the bird, chimneys, Leunig, Michael Leunig


I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Dodie Smith, kitchen sink


“Ever since they arrived with their cake full of bugs and their spicy sausages, I’ve taken to sleeping downstairs on the pool table.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, bugs, sausages


I had resolved to be less offended by human nature, but I think I blew it already.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Bill Watterson, Hobbes


We knew that you were ready, even if we were not, for a long journey for which you would require no shoes, no wallet or driver’s license, no comb, razor, or shaving cream, none of the things, in fact, that we would carry away with us in plastic bags.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Brad Zellar


Censorship is evil.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, remembrance, censorship, Don Chipp


“Once, tender love watched by my side, Now, from above, her angel’s my guide, When heaven above asks my last breath. Angel love smile on the vagabond’s death.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Bent Rule Club, Edward Owen, vagabond


“And a good south wind sprung up behind; The Albatross did follow, And every day, for food or play, Came to the mariners’ hollo!”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, albatross, Coleridge


“No doubt the foundation of a happy home lies very largely in the kitchen; to often have ill-cooked dinners put asunder that which God hath joined together - it is impossible to have peace in the soul while there is war in the stomach.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, food, ladies, kitchens, Ladies Handbook, happy homes


“Any tendency to self-handling at its earliest manifestation will lead the wise mother to adopt means for its suppression - only by the utmost vigilance and care can the formation of injurious habits be prevented; such habits injure the mind through the excitation of the nervous system, and result in loss of self-control”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, ladies, Ladies Handbook, injurious, suppression, self-handling


“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, lyrics, John Lennon


“Rolf Harris — number of legs, variable”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Bill Oddie, goodies, Rolf Harris


Ingesting 10-plus hours of Super Bowl coverage forces you to act like an anaconda: Just unhinge your jaws, swallow your prey and try not to be too conscious of your distended, distorted body.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, anacondas, Douglas J Rowe, Super Bowl


“The MEETING of 8 would be people talking about the number 8.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, music


“Mate, this place was really stonking yesterday.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, stonking


“What type of creature is the booby?”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, boobies


“I couldn’t understand what was going on - but to stop myself from crying - I counted the flies on the dates on the plate on the floor.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, crying, distractions, out of context


“It’s not about tea and scones; it’s about someone caring enough to make tea and scones.”as inspired by: bakerina’s good manners and the women of the CWA

    TAGS:  guest scriner, tea, caring, scones


“When that day comes, I suppose I’ll be one of those dirty old men, white-bearded like Whitman, poking around in the stacks of derelict libraries, caressing the spines, perusing the neglected volumes, and contemplating how his desire for books only increases with age.”

    TAGS:  books, guest scriner, aging, beauty, benton, lust


“You see, I’m just a web server… here I am, brain the size of the universe, trying to serve you a simple web page and then it doesn’t even exist!”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, androids, Marvin the Paranoid Android


“Which leaves us right here, in this murky no-man’s-land of vague dis-ease, this foul, anesthetized place where our brutal-war-that-isn’t-really-a-war has become the norm, a time when it feels like we as a country should be getting stronger and should be leading the world in everything from peacekeeping to environmentalism to medicine to technology, and yet we have this giant, bloodstained monkey on our backs, violent and ugly and still shockingly strong, and he is laughing, cackling at our feeble attempts to shake ourselves free, even as he eats at our soul.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


“I like this hat - it’s just the right size for my head, with room for thinking.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, hats, daughter, thinking


“Yo Ho, Yo Ho, it’s the pirate’s life for me”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, pirates, captain jack, yo-ho


I’ve seen people threatened with forks over such things.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, names, threats, forks


Mary had consciously chosen her neighbour Miss Jane to emulate as a very young child and, as a consequence, Mary was rarely allowed to play with the neighbouring children—she frightened the brainless twits much in the same manner Miss Jane frightened the bleating parents.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, Miss Jane, polite violence, bleating, consequences, mary


“My work may be garbage but it’s good garbage.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, garbage, Spillane


Sleeping is always a good plan.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, boot - the person, sleeping


This lunch you packed exasperates me; I am now exasperated - look, can you not see the exasperation on my face?

    TAGS:  guest scriner, daughter, lunch, exasperated


It is important to note that the beheading of old corpses is a relatively easy, and of course, painless process, but those who find themselves the least bit squeamish over such a proposition would do well to join the Procrastination Branch of the Oliver Cromwell Recreation Society, since an old corpse will usually give up its head with little to no coaxing.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, beheading, corpses, coaxing, squeamish


Two drunks with a nickel between them were arguing over what to play on the juke box until a tomato in a dress that was too tight a year ago pushed the key that started off something noisy and hot.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, hot, tomatoes, noisy, Spillane


Damon dressed as a zombie for Halloween - not a “Slow movin’, got time to run away” zombie; more like a “Chase after you and crash through windows unexpected-like” zombie.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, zombies, Halloween, Damon


When I woke up this morning things were lookin’ bad, [...] a bowl of oatmeal stared me down—and won.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


“What is it with boys and their fascination with big. hard. disks?”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, fascination


So how did you get into the business of learning how to just make that colon feel good again?

    TAGS:  guest scriner, colon, business


“I know this is Philadelphia, but doesn’t anybody want to talk about fisting?”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


The man had left something valuable under the tree. Maybe it was a pie.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, pie, bears


“You can see the look on my face and yet you’re still talking to me.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


“I don’t know how we’re supposed to take this history test on the Han Dynasty, if we’re not allowed to take home our textbooks and our teacher just tells us all the answers to our worksheets, but maybe it won’t be a problem - she’s having us watch ‘Mulan’, ‘cause she says it has so much historical data in it.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, children, a sorry state, education, history


“It always seemed to me the greatest loss of the game Clue that one could never do it to Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the book.”

    TAGS:  books, guest scriner, libraries


“Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, life, insomnia


“It has a few quirks.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, understating


Did you know there’s a Scrine for cats where instead of posting sentences they post interesting smells.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, cats, smell - the odor


“I want my next girlfriend to be a physicist, in the hope that someone who has devoted her life to the study of the universe might understand that she’s not the center of it.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


“Oh, don’t listen to a word that man says.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, mouse, Bakerina, daft


“thanks for assuming I’m a complete and udder moron…”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, moo


“What usually happens is that I’m invited to the country house of some mad colonel; once there, I drink an entire bottle of claret, smoke 50 cigarettes and have everyone on the premises arrested.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


Work, yarn, coffee, work.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, life


Woohoooooo! and a beer.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, camaraderie, change, beer, boot - the person


Good certainly does not have a clock attached.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, good, hard work


All the Buddhas of all the ages have been telling you a very simple fact: Be; don’t try to become.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, life, be


“Come on boys, I’m an introverted nerdy goofball… it shouldn’t be that hard to keep from feeling ‘real’ shit about me.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, feeling - the emotion


It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

    TAGS:  guest scriner


“When assembling Skuvnar, it is best to be two people.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


There’s no words to describe it; In French or in English.

    TAGS:  guest scriner


“The first, indeed the only, requirement of a diet is that it should lose you weight without reducing your alcoholic intake by the smallest degree.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, alcohol, dieting


I’m about halfway through the trial brief, and I am engrossed; Lloyd is just going to have to wait on dinner.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, lawyers, engrossed


We are all living the lives of flowers.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, life


Guest Scriner: Dane Cook :: JadedBeauty

“I’m late for my shitty life!”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


I left my washing in the launderette; You can put some money on it, you can place a little bet that when I see my washing, the black will be grey and the white will be grey but the blues are still blue.

    TAGS:  guest scriner


Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile, I caught hell for.

    TAGS:  guest scriner


anonymity is the last great luxury of our times.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, anonymity


“Passion fruit is edible, but seedy: It can be used to make jelly, but its best usage may come from being a food source for several species of butterfly and their larvae.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, fruit, passion


“Amy Winehouse, from one non-religious person to another: you need to find Jesus.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner


“So after more than an hour of craziness and making my programs list garbage and being scared and seeing that Microsoft.com is a terrible website I haven’t run Moviemaker and I haven’t got the plus package.” [Bill Gates, c2003]

    TAGS:  guest scriner, computers


And all the shapes and shades That made the colours see When they suddenly turned grey That they’re no longer there

    TAGS:  guest scriner, colour


“Searching is half the fun: Life is much more manageable when thought of as a scavenger hunt as opposed to a surprise party.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, life, puzzling


Mark Knopfler has an extraordinary ability to make a Schecter Custom Stratocaster hoot and sing like angels on a Saturday night, exhausted from being good all week and needing a stiff drink.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, angels, Douglas Adams, guitars, hgtg, Mark Knopfler, Stratocaster


I used to walk down Telegraph Avenue here in Berkeley, and guys would try to sell me pot; later, they changed to scalped Cal football tickets; and now they just look at me and hand me coupons for Subway sandwiches.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, aging


“The employee was not aggrieved by the exoneration having deprived him of any indemnification he might have been entitled to pursuant to Labor Code Section 2802, since an individually liable tortfeasor is not aggrieved by the exoneration of a joint tortfeasor even when that exoneration defeats what would otherwise be an actionable cause for contribution.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, egad, exploded, exonerated


“I don’t really eat chocolate at all and rarely eat cookies.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, chocolate, cookies, sad


Stephen and I once had a running competition about funny ways we could express our depression; he won by answering the phone one day, “I just took my head out of the toilet long enough to say hello.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, depression


“The site [Scrine] also has a library of eclectic music and a Wiki consisting of information so absurd and mind-blowingly inaccurate that spending too much time there results in noticeable IQ shrinkage.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, absurd, shrinkage, wiki, scwiki


“Sometimes I agree with you that women can overthink emotional issues, whereas guys can go out back, pee standing up, come inside and order two more beers, and hey presto, things are cool.”

    TAGS:  guest scriner, issues


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