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A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."
Kids never change, they just get replaced by new kids.
Kids these days find that the first time they’ve ever been alone is when their college roommates leave for class.
TAGS: growing up
He’s starting to act like his father.
I want to be a Master Artichoke Cleaner
Funny, back in high school my health teacher, Keith, said something about making sure 5-inch tall Little Keith was always wearing his turban and to be careful where he tried to stow away—I never quite understood what he was talking about.
Why does it make me so sad to realize that my children share none of my memories of them as babies?
Adulthood isn’t the spangly party-place we thought it would be, back when we spied on it through red plastic binoculars from across the gulf of age and autonomy; it can be a downright trecherous land, where sometimes our compatriots fall into pits of despair, and there’s little we can do to help.
In a way, this fact is indicative of all that disappoints me about adulthood: when I eat nothing but desserts for dinner, I really pay for it later.
A young Miss Jane watched from under a desk as the angry, blood-splattered man sprayed bullets into the air and yelled “I told you when I finally lost it, that you would be the first to go!”
Henry finally had to acknowledge that greeting everybody with ‘Good Morning’, no matter what time of day or night, did not charm people as much as it had when he was eleven.
We never had these lovely, soft, modern paper bag cars like the kids of today, we had to make do with cardboard.
Afraid he was fast running out of things to be when he grew up, Ferguson bought an English-to-Dutch dictionary and considered taking up clog dancing.
I’m not sure exactly where my life went wrong….but I suspect it was around the time I stopped having “play clothes”, and started having “work clothes”.
I remember how it is growing up: When you’re 15 you need to be 16 in order to drive, when you’re 16 you need to be 18 so you can travel and vote, when you’re 19 you need to be 21 so you can drink, when you’re finally 21 you need to be 24 in order to rent a car without hassle, and then you’re finally 24 and it’s a long, slow, responsible slide toward death.
TAGS: growing up
“Growing boobs hurts!”
was how to do my taxes, look after my household, cultivate a loving relationship, practice and perfect a small handfull of hobbies, drink myself under a table without getting sick, and how to otherwise lead an, if not exciting, than largely happy, complacent life, but I never learned any of the important stuff, like which tile, when pressed, would open the secret sex dungeon in my otherwise inconspicuous first house.
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