Where memory comes to rant and rave, and heroes still use Burma-Shave

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Career Day :: Keith

“And now class, let’s give our special attention to Timmy’s father, who has been kind enough to come in today and talk to us about growing old, bald and fat.”

    TAGS:  aging, school, bald, Timmy, fat

Keith made not sleeping seem such a trivial thing by continuing to function consistently but Bethany, after staying up for two days running, began speaking in tongues and realised after minimal ‘Net research that it was not as easy as Keith made it all seem - it wasn’t the irritability that worried her, nor the blurred vision, slurred speech and memory lapses - after all, they were symptoms of a good night out; overall confusion was a day to day state and suffering psychosis and eventual death just didn’t seem real but the idea that she may suffer reduced sex drive while still in her womanly prime had her reaching desperately for the sleeping pills (which, she belatedly realised, had the same effect).

    TAGS:  Bethany, fat, sleep deprivation

“Dear,” said the late-season cherry, “we’re going to be late, and, no, I don’t think the watermelon makes you look fat.”

    TAGS:  fruit, cherries, fat, watermelon

Pangs :: 'mouse

The pangs of regret at eating those donuts have devolved into hunger pains as I try to rid myself of the fat.

    TAGS:  fat, guilt, donuts

I predict a sudden loss of a majority of Earth’s gravity, resulting in a world where the “big boned” will have a definite advantage.

    TAGS:  fat, gravity

your mother is so fat… :: JadedBeauty

Why even put legit titles anymore?

    TAGS:  fat

After conducting extensive experiments, I have determined that my weight is controlled entirely by two variables in my diet (and no others), Oreos and ice cream.

    TAGS:  fat, ice cream, diet, oreos


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