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Fart - The Thing
functions :: Keith

Sometimes a fart proves that gravity doesn’t always work right.

    TAGS:  gravity, fart - the thing


My daughter told me the reason you can’t hear cats’ flatulence is that they don’t have large primate asses like ours.

    TAGS:  cats, fart - the thing, flatulence


old fart :: hysterium

Before leaving the office for her 50th birthday celebration, Wanda held her nose and said, “I may be an old fart, but at least I don’t smell like one!”

    TAGS:  bad jokes, fart - the thing, fart - the person


Snart: A condition resulting from a sneeze that causes a simultanous fart when in a public place, especially a library or a cavernous church with wooden pews.

    TAGS:  libraries, church, fart - the thing, sneeze, snart, scrine medical lexicon, snarting


Lauren crossed out “irreconcilable differences” on the divorce petition and wrote in “night farts.”

    TAGS:  divorce, fart - the thing, flatulence, farts


smells like… :: 'mouse

Mimsy, my latest invention, won’t cure your gas, but it will make your farts smell exactly like Dove soap.

    TAGS:  inventions, fart - the thing, Mimsy


chuckles :: Elisson

As she laughed, she punctuated her chuckles with a perfectly-timed series of staccato farts.

    TAGS:  laughter, fart - the thing, chuckles


pfart :: 'mouse

Some (other) 13-year-old boy probably beat me to it, but I’d like to copyright the word “pfart” to describe the fart guys often make when peeing at a urinal.

    TAGS:  13-year-old boys, fart - the thing, pee, pfart, sophomoric humor


gas :: 'mouse

At first, Arthur thought it was funny when his wife bought him a t-shirt printed front and back with the trucking placard for “Dangerous - Flammable Gas,” but Laura wasn’t trying to be funny, she was trying to give fair warning to those who might come into contact with him.

    TAGS:  fart - the thing


 

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