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• Scrine is the home of lost, forgotten, and lonely sentences.

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• Censorship is ugly, but still not the ugliest bird in the sky. Happily, this has never been necessary.

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A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."

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Scrine Restoration

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muscles :: 'mouse

As he poured another drink, Joe thought, my liver is a muscle, so the more I use it and the harder I push it, the stronger it will get.

    TAGS:  alcohol, muscles, exercise, liver

Bob On Exercise :: Keith

The older Bob got, the more he enjoyed watching other people exercise.

    TAGS:  Bob, exercise, lethargy

Now that the Alaska Zoo knows that Maggie the elephant has shunned her jumbo treadmill, I’m hoping they’ll sell it to me cheap, because the way I see it, I should be able to drape all my clothes over it at one time, unlike my old, regular-sized treadmill, which only holds about twenty shirts and a couple pairs of pants.

    TAGS:  Alaska, elephants, exercise, treadmills

How Freudian is it that since my doctor put me on a healthier diet and suggested more exercise, the line between food and sex has blurred?

    TAGS:  diets, Freud, exercise

Running :: 'mouse

I love running; I can sit on the couch and watch people do it all day.

    TAGS:  couch, exercise

When giving tours of the property to prospective residents, the chief always made it a point to tell people that even though they would feel at home if they chose to move in, they would, under no circumstances whatsoever, be allowed to drape shirts and trousers over the treadmills.

    TAGS:  work, The Chief, exercise, trousers, treadmills

Bronwyn’s heart sank at the thought of going to the gym, not because her sorry ass was old and out of shape, but because the time spent at the gym would shave at least two hours off of her Valuable Outlining Time.

    TAGS:  Bronwyn, exercise, time management

“Flying to the inland Mcdonalds will get you some exercise,” they said, not understanding that he couldn’t.

    TAGS:  exercise, the little big seagull, McDonalds

No, really :: bakerina

“Maintain your form—ears over your shoulders,” said the exercise instructor, and I thought, “well, where else can I put them?”

    TAGS:  ears, exercise, shoulders

In 1994, Bronwyn’s low-impact cardio dance class was the best exercise class in New York City, thanks to the instructor’s choice of “Detachable Penis” by King Missile to accompany the abdominal routine; alas, even health clubs in the East Village have at least one client who is both easily offended and noisily vocal, and thus “Detachable Penis” was banned from the class playlist long before Bronwyn could achieve rock-hard abs.

    TAGS:  exercise, penis, detachable penis, rock-hard abs


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