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Based on conversations with a local animal psychic, Bob was made aware of the fact that ducks have a propensity to lean towards evolution for an answer, rather than faith, and tend to believe that all creatures will, if given enough time, eventually evolve into ducks; oddly enough, this “end of the line” type of evolutionary thinking, Bob realized, is shared by most cats and many humans, which left him in quite a pickle - was he turning into a duck or a cat, or was he already as good as he could get?
Today I discovered that the hinge in my spine has worn completely out, and that if I were to ever bend in half, say to plant flowers all day or even try to touch my toes for just an instant, I would probably never get up again, but fortunately for me, my belly prevents any of this from happening.
There is a so-called island rule in science, which says that evolution drives larger species to become smaller on islands due to a lack of food and other resources, which for me sounds exciting, but unfortunately, brings up one important, yet unanswered question: What about Godzilla?
Tripod Willie found that he couldn’t help but be jealous of Henry Hexapus because his girlfriend, tired of the 3-legged jokes, told him that while size is overrated - if you are a small woman - the number of legs a man has is not, and evolution clearly favors Henry over Willie when it comes to the propagation of the species by making him the more attractive lover.
Jan van de Boer tried explaining to his mother that he was not an atheist, but rather, a joyfully agnostic Gnostic who believes in evolution- a theory she sums up uncharitably as “monkeys wearing pants.”
A million years later, bees took their turn on the evolutionary ladder; they mastered time-travel with ridiculous ease, and then set about righting many wrongs inflicted upon bees of the past by the now-extinct human race.
The modern hot dog is nature’s perfect food, the completion of packaging evolution.
Despite the vast scope of our technological sophistication I fear that we’re still nothing more than monkeys wearing pants
Each flu season Tammy pondered if human hibernation was possible and whether, if successful, the skill would constitute Darwinian evolution.
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