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Bob Evolves :: Keith

Based on conversations with a local animal psychic, Bob was made aware of the fact that ducks have a propensity to lean towards evolution for an answer, rather than faith, and tend to believe that all creatures will, if given enough time, eventually evolve into ducks; oddly enough, this “end of the line” type of evolutionary thinking, Bob realized, is shared by most cats and many humans, which left him in quite a pickle - was he turning into a duck or a cat, or was he already as good as he could get?

    TAGS:  Bob, ducks, duck - the bird, faith, evolution, dilemma, psychics

Today I discovered that the hinge in my spine has worn completely out, and that if I were to ever bend in half, say to plant flowers all day or even try to touch my toes for just an instant, I would probably never get up again, but fortunately for me, my belly prevents any of this from happening.

    TAGS:  evolution, spines

Island Rule :: Keith

There is a so-called island rule in science, which says that evolution drives larger species to become smaller on islands due to a lack of food and other resources, which for me sounds exciting, but unfortunately, brings up one important, yet unanswered question: What about Godzilla?

    TAGS:  science, Godzilla, evolution, islands

Tripod Willie :: Br. Ezra

Tripod Willie found that he couldn’t help but be jealous of Henry Hexapus because his girlfriend, tired of the 3-legged jokes, told him that while size is overrated - if you are a small woman - the number of legs a man has is not, and evolution clearly favors Henry over Willie when it comes to the propagation of the species by making him the more attractive lover.

    TAGS:  evolution, Henry Hexapus, tripod willie, sexual attractiveness

Jan van de Boer tried explaining to his mother that he was not an atheist, but rather, a joyfully agnostic Gnostic who believes in evolution- a theory she sums up uncharitably as “monkeys wearing pants.”

    TAGS:  Jan van de Boer, evolution, monkeys wearing pants

A million years later, bees took their turn on the evolutionary ladder; they mastered time-travel with ridiculous ease, and then set about righting many wrongs inflicted upon bees of the past by the now-extinct human race.

    TAGS:  bees, time travel, evolution

The modern hot dog is nature’s perfect food, the completion of packaging evolution.

    TAGS:  consumerism, evolution, hot dogs, packaging, modern life

Despite the vast scope of our technological sophistication I fear that we’re still nothing more than monkeys wearing pants

    TAGS:  fear, Darwin, monkeys, technology, pants, evolution, sophistication

the flu :: littledevilworks

Each flu season Tammy pondered if human hibernation was possible and whether, if successful, the skill would constitute Darwinian evolution.

    TAGS:  evolution, flu, hibernation


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