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Duck - The Bird
what are the ducks? :: Imaginary Keith

For kicks let’s say that letters represent people and go from there, realizing then that words are families, books like neighborhoods or societies, libraries like nations, sentences like a string of universes, which leaves us with only that one ongoing, unanswerable, naggingquestion - what are the ducks?

    TAGS:  1st Sentence, ducks, duck - the bird, nagging questions


ducks :: Imaginary Keith

John was surprised to learn that Heaven had only one duck, but even more surprised when the duck waddled over and introduced himself as God.

    TAGS:  god, afterlife, duck - the bird, Heaven - the place, waddle


straight lines :: Keith

When it comes to walking straight lines here on this farm, the order goes: cow, duck, chicken, rabbit, cat, human, dog; yet oddly enough, when it comes to telling a straight story, the order goes: cow, duck, chicken, rabbit, cat, dog, human.

    TAGS:  chickens, cats, ducks, duck - the bird, chicken - the bird, cows, country life, humans, rabbits, farm life


bill :: 'mouse

In idle moments, Bill wondered what his name had to do with an invoice, or the front end of a duck and what it might mean in other languages.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, wandering thoughts, nagging questions, idleness


Standing ankle deep in the bills, he sometimes thought, “Duck slaughterhouse, which seemed both funny and sad, just like his floor.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, bills, slaughterhouse


In a dream I had last night, aliens were turning people into animals, and even though I’d been turned into a cat, I remember these things happening - when I ran, it was in great big strides like I still had two long legs, I was walking through a downtown and came across an art gallery whose sidewalk out front was made entirely of headstones, laid on their backs, and that I went inside the gallery after being lured in by a woman who seemed to be the owner and was offering me a slice of cake, and that once inside, I kept looking out a side window, insisting to people who passed between the buildings that I had not been turned into a cat, but was, in fact, a duck.

    TAGS:  dreams, cats, ducks, aliens, duck - the bird, quack, weird


Quack like a duck!

    TAGS:  grud, ducks, duck - the bird, quacking, facetiousness


Ducks And Run :: Keith

Richard ran for the house, ducks crashing to the ground all around him.

    TAGS:  ducks, word play, duck - the bird


mouse on duck, bake on duck, goli on duck, geez, give the bird a break! (e on duck)

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird


Yet another day was ruined because of the duck’s stubborn refusal to stop quacking down the chimney.

    TAGS:  birds, animals, ducks, duck - the bird, ridiculous encounters, quack, quacking, chimneys, stubborness


Bob Evolves :: Keith

Based on conversations with a local animal psychic, Bob was made aware of the fact that ducks have a propensity to lean towards evolution for an answer, rather than faith, and tend to believe that all creatures will, if given enough time, eventually evolve into ducks; oddly enough, this “end of the line” type of evolutionary thinking, Bob realized, is shared by most cats and many humans, which left him in quite a pickle - was he turning into a duck or a cat, or was he already as good as he could get?

    TAGS:  Bob, ducks, duck - the bird, faith, evolution, dilemma, psychics


They whirled across the floor, sparking occasionally as their shells scraped across the concrete, criss-crossing paths and twirling under the stars, all of them happily oblivious to the lurking danger that was the hidden duck.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, snails, lurking, silvery


Dabblers :: Keith

Billy was eventually asked to leave the yoga class, further convincing him that the dabbler ducks in the front row were receiving special treatment.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, dabble, yoga, special treatment


bad bad bread. :: goliard

i have seen the rock bottom depths of pseudosnobbery, after meeting my sisterinlaw at the panera bread, attached to the starbucks and actually purchasing a loaf; which i later fed to the ducks along with my sincerest apologies.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, apology, bread, Starbucks, snobbery


gothic scene-setting, neo-nazi duck attacks, animals on a road trip (into said gothic scene?) and a calming, sylvan glade with tweeting; anyone?

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird


Nola’s Ark :: Keith

When Nola told the ducks they could move in until after the bird flu epidemic had passed, she had no way of knowing just how much time they would spend in the bathroom.

    TAGS:  animals, ducks, duck - the bird, bathrooms, epidemic, roommates


And your achievement towers like a smoking chimney stack, There’ll be a quack and right there at your feet, A little duck will stand.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, ducks, duck - the bird, chimneys, Leunig, Michael Leunig


Becky huddled quietly in the corner of the ceiling, giggling behind her sinuous fingers, and as the various ‘people’ walked by they found themselves suddenly and brilliantly transformed into all manner of creatures, especially mouses, coyotes, ducks, drop bears, scrinebirds and elephants.

    TAGS:  mouse, Becky the Harlequin, ducks, harlequin, people, duck - the bird, elephants, coyotes, giggling, The Rusty Metal Bird


Becky raced down the lane, giggling and laughing, yelling confusing and contextless words, weaving and darting between the explosive rivers of colour, watching all the ducks bloom, the flowers exfoliate and the mammoths dance, and running recklessly forward towards the shimmering, magnetic and dazing light just that little bit further ahead.

    TAGS:  Becky the Harlequin, ducks, harlequin, duck - the bird, colour, Spring, shimmer, darting, mammoths, weaving


giant ducks :: boot

I was a bit disappointed to see that the sentence titled ‘duck’ wasn’t about ducks, nor was it about giants, nor even about skeletons or pirates, so I’ve made my own and we can now merrily continue babbling inanely about giant ducks or whatever else takes our fancy.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, babbling, giants


Terror Birds! :: Keith

I know there are some who worry incessantly that ducks are up to no good, but personally, it’s the terror bird I’m losing sleep over.

    TAGS:  birds, ducks, dinosaurs, duck - the bird, worry, terror, prehistoric, terror bird


Sneaky Alien :: grudknows

The ducks, with a slightly mad glint in their eyes, marched onward not looking to the left, not looking to the right - and not daring to look at Becky or the Tall Man who both, in their own ways made strange things happen - however, as they went by, I saw one sneak a peek at Henry.

    TAGS:  Henry, Becky the Harlequin, ducks, harlequin, duck - the bird, eyes, tall man, The Tall Man, peek


Confronted, Henry denied knowing the call girl, but was soon caught in his lie when the topic of ducks came up.

    TAGS:  Henry, ducks, duck - the bird, call girls, lies, prostitution


aliens :: grudknows

I swear, if it’s not ducks, then it’s ants and if it’s not ants, then it’s spiders - the little bastards parasailing in numbers from the roof - I’ve stopped looking up because when you look up and see ten of the little buggers and then hit them with a full blast of bug spray and they still keep coming - you don’t really want to know how many more are darting about on the ceiling.

    TAGS:  spiders, ducks, aliens, duck - the bird, ants, menagerie, little buggers


Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet are all colours of the rainbow, but ducks, dinosaurs, cheese-sticks, rayguns, alfoil hats, spaceships, books, saffron and mangoes are not.

    TAGS:  mangoes, red, green, dinosaurs, duck - the bird, yellow, stacking, blue - the colour, indigo, cheese-sticks


feeling yellow? :: boot

Take one duck, roll it out flat, watch it boing back up again.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, colour, boing, yellow, feeling - the emotion


Don’t we all? :: 'mouse

Dr. Brennan plans to team up with a biomechanics expert to build a transparent model of a female duck because she wants to see exactly what a giant duck phallus does during mating. (full story in todays NY Times)

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird


A nun walked into a bar with a duck tucked underneath her arm, she saddled up to the bar and nodded at the horse trying to look nonchalant while tossing back rye shots and smoking a Swisher Sweet.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, bar jokes, nuns, horses, Swisher Sweets


“I don’t care what you say, ducks do NOT have bristles” argued Gertie with such passion and energy that a wee bit of spittle managed to jump across, landing neatly on the tip of a slightly grossed out Betty’s nose.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, Betty, spittle, bristles, thistles, Gertie, whistles


spittle duck :: boot

Sometimes the title is better than the sentence could ever be.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, spittle, sentence titles


the tall man #2345 :: grudknows

The tall man said ‘cake’ and a spitting duck appeared from nowhere (well, that’s how it seemed, though in retrospect, he figured it must have come from somewhere).

    TAGS:  cake, duck - the bird, duck, duck, tall man, The Tall Man, mysteriously appeared


twice is too much :: grudknows

Being a little daunted by a spitting duck, the tall man said ‘cake’ (again. just to see what would happen) and a scrabble board appeared on the floor where upon the spitting duck looked at the board, looked at the tall man and nudged the board impatiently toward the man with its beak.

    TAGS:  cake, duck - the bird, duck, duck, Scrabble, tall man, The Tall Man, duckbill


Tomorrow there’ll be sheepdog trials, fairy floss and a quacking duck or two.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, stuff, fairy floss, hooray, sheepdogs


‘duck :: boot

The ‘duck looked rather startled, shrugged his wings and leapt into the water, bottom up.

    TAGS:  mouse, ducks, duck - the bird, transformation


Scrine.com is not a group blog where members post single sentences; members are not snarky lit-minded geeks of questionable repute; and no mention of ducks of any variety is ever made.

    TAGS:  ducks, scrine idiosyncrasies, duck - the bird, blogging, no ducks here


I still prefer ducks :: darksteve

I’ve been watching the ducklings in my front paddock grow up over the last few weeks and I can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness that soon they will be all grown up and all familial bonds forgotten as need drives them to fight over mates and territory.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, ducklings, sadness, bonds, fight, mates, territory


how to ruin a joke :: You can call me, 'Sir'

“You see,” he began, “it’s the duck in this story who has the dignity, rather the human being who’s requesting the pleasure of the duck’s company behind the elm tree, because I think it goes without saying that no self-respecting duck would ever be caught dead engaging in such reprehensible behavior with anyone from Minnesota or, for that matter, any state with such a large contingent of people with Nordic ancestry.”

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, ancestry, jokes, dignity, Minnesota, Nordic


If over the phone an agent says anything about “ducks in a row,” don’t make the mistake of actually showing up for the meeting with trained ducks.

    TAGS:  advice, duck - the bird, IRS, duck - other, telephone - the device


The Stonebender family was grimly sure there were too many ducks in the city pond anyway, and that nobody would notice if a few went missing, at dusk, say, right around holiday time.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, shopping, dusk, creative


The man who loved rhyming was in luck Whenever his wife saw a duck “Hey, it’s really no crime To rhyme words all the time, Particularly when it leads to a coffee shop.”

    TAGS:  bad poetry, duck - the bird, duck, duck, rhyme, innuendo, coffee shop, limericks


I like to smoke my own duck.

    TAGS:  duck - the bird, duck, duck, dirty ducksmoker


quack :: You can call me, 'Sir'

I’m beginning to see a constant theme involving ducks in my writing and frankly, it’s disturbing.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, disturbing themes


Even though the equation clearly disproved his own existence, the duck remained in front of the blackboard with the chalk gripped firmly in his bill (almost defiantly, some students in the classroom thought) right up until the moment his own arrogance caught up with him, he smiled, and the chalk slipped from his bill and lodged somewhere in his windpipe.

    TAGS:  anthropomorphism, duck - the bird, ridiculous encounters, arrogance, blackboards, chalk, choking, classrooms, teaching, defiance


Duck always wore dark sunglasses when he taught elementary school classes so the children couldn’t see when he was asleep.

    TAGS:  ducks, anthropomorphism, duck - the bird, teaching, sunglasses


the evil of nature :: 'mouse

Squirrels, cats and ducks are the real axis of evil.

    TAGS:  cats, ducks, duck - the bird, axis of evil, squirrels


A Fowl Deed :: boot

The chickens, ducks and other such cluckery gathered around the call to war, each one pecking or scritching their names to the document and all that it heeded for the days to come.

    TAGS:  chickens, ducks, duck - the bird, chicken - the bird, war, fowl, clucking, call to war


penguins :: boot

You think ducks are trouble…

    TAGS:  birds, ducks, duck - the bird, trouble, penguins


saffron :: 'mouse

Jimmy, high on saffron, thought that if the Spice Cops knocked on his door and and accused him of violating probation, he could get off by saying, “Jimmy’s not here, I’m Jimmy’s duck.”

    TAGS:  Alphabetti Spaghetti, Spice Cops, ducks, duck - the bird, saffron


“Feeling constrictingly chivalrous, Henry screwed the duck!”

    TAGS:  Henry, sex, duck - the bird, duck, duck, bogus, chivalry


Unlike most aquatic birds, it is thought that decedents of The Duck have the ability to make their own bread because oftentimes they float around paying no mind to any grain lobbed their way, though no one has ever caught a Misses The Duck in an apron, yet.

    TAGS:  birds, ducks, duck - the bird, aquatic


imagine… :: goliard

that keith stopped hugging the duck, and started writing again (that would cheer me up).

    TAGS:  ducks, Keith, duck - the bird, happiness, imagine


The better part of the day was spent making sure the ducks hadn’t snuck up on us again to watch us watch TV.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, evil, TV, sneaking


obscenity :: 'mouse

The censors didn’t block it as obscenity until ducks got involved.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, kissing, kiss


“It’s a common mistake,” the duck assured me, “but sure as I’m standing here talking to you, all ducks are hobos by human definition, just without the bindle stick or any romantic notion that riding in cold, empty boxcars is fun.”

    TAGS:  ducks, anthropomorphism, duck - the bird, hobos, boxcars


“It’s a common mistake,” the hobo assured me, “but sure as I’m standing here talking to you, there’s no way in hell all those ducks would make it south every winter if it weren’t for us hobos helping load them into the boxcars.”

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, ridiculous encounters, hobos, boxcars


“It’s a common mistake,” I assured myself, “to think that I have better things to do than think about hobos and ducks all day, but sure as I’m sitting here writing this, I know I don’t.”

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, hobos, wandering thoughts, mindless banter


If you quack, you sound like a duck.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, quack


If you sound like a duck, you may also look like a duck, if you look like a duck some people may step away from you when you get too close due to their duck phobias.

    TAGS:  guest scriner, fear, ducks, duck - the bird, antidaephobia, imaginary, duck - other


The ducks hid in the closet.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, hiding


And then it all made sense, he hadn’t seen a duck in weeks.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, mysterious absence


Henry looked at his belly sticking up through the bubbles, happy for the little yellow ducks who climbed up when got tired of floating.

    TAGS:  Henry, ducks, duck - the bird, baths, bubbles, rubber ducky


During the 1970s, most flocks experienced a dramatic increase in a cappella dance parties, but this was mostly on account of the difficulty ducks had in successfully handling the 8-track equipment.

    TAGS:  ducks, 1970s, anthropomorphism, 8-tracks, duck - the bird, psychology, dance party, Keith's Guides to Everything


After buying some cotton candy, the mathematicians hurried to the animal pavilion to listen to the Fibonacci ducks quack.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, quack, county fair, mathematicians, cotton candy, Fibonacci


Duckophilia :: Br. Ezra

Feeling noncompetitively scientific, Omar undressed the duck

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, bogus scrines, Omar


Some said his imagination was like a small group of well-mannered ducks sipping beer in a pub, politely trying not to look down the waitress’ low-cut blouse as she delivered the second round, but he always scoffed at the notion, reminding them that ducks had an eye on either side of their head, and that the very idea that they could look away from something so tempting, no matter how polite they tried to be, was simply ludicrous.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, imagination, blouse, manners, waitress


The young duck slowly opened his Christmas present from Grandma, hoping desperately isn’t wasn’t another pair of socks.

    TAGS:  Christmas, ducks, socks, anthropomorphism, duck - the bird, gifts


One duck was never going to be enough.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, seemingly innocent statements, underlying malevolence, lacking


Duck Shrugged :: Keith

The duck looked at his watch, unconcerned.

    TAGS:  ducks, anthropomorphism, duck - the bird, watch - the timepiece, unconcerned


Whatever the world thinks of ducks, the ducks know better.

    TAGS:  ducks, duck - the bird, duck paranoia, universal truths


One cat, one man, two pigeons, no ducks, a cup of coffee, a dash of weirdness, and a variety of baked goods.

    TAGS:  coffee, ducks, duck - the bird, New Years


Nonchalance :: Keith

As Henry watched the ducks swim up and down the creek on such a cold day, he found himself growing increasingly irritated by their nonchalant attitude.

    TAGS:  Henry, ducks, duck - the bird, irritation, nonchalant


 

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