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A wise man (or perhaps it was a wise woman, my memory is understandably hazy) once said that the solution to seeing double when you’re drunk is simple—just close one eye.
“It’s all in vain,” Bob was heard muttering just before he asked the bartender for another beer.
Bob contemplated (wanted) to storm (sneak off to) the Blogher Conference (the pub), but feared (feared) being turned away (caught) by a mob of angry women (his wife).
It’s nothing $50 and a long night at the neighborhood bar wouldn’t fix.
Julie noted ruefully that there is a meaningful difference in the intensity of the hangover from drinking four martinis over the course of a long evening compared with what happens when you drink the same amount of gin from a water glass 15 minutes before going to bed.
If you live in town where the bars line up like blackbirds on an electric wire, then you probably also believe God was a working stiff, and that he’d want… no, he’d demand that you drop to your knees (or sit on a stool is fine) and pay homage to each and every one of them on the way home from work.
stuck in some purgatorial excuse for a bar, sitting on a stool with one leg shorter than the rest, ordering another jack and coke while glancing at her phone to check the time just once more, agreeing to have her fortune read by the reformed drinker sipping his beer in the corner and flashing a deck of tarot cards dramatically: not that she believed in that nonsense, not one bit, but with the moon full and her mind downtrodden she fell prey to his charms and listened as the oldman explained…
How many drinks should a ‘mouse drink between now and 20 minutes from now if a ‘mouse has no interest in spending 6th grade back-to-school night any more sober than minimally required?
By the fall of 1982, the Angel of Mercy was blaming his drinking problem on his broken wing, but everyone down at the VFW knew better.
A couple of times now I’ve been admonished for drinking alcohol because it’s too early - but exactly how early is too early when you consider all these messy time-zones?
As Juan filled out the letter of introduction to his daughter’s new teacher he struggled with whether to put “sets things on fire with her glare if she gets angry” in the “strengths” column or the “weaknesses” column.
If you can’t get drunk on Saturday night/Sunday morning, when CAN you get drunk?
I like drinking, it dulls the edges of things a tiny bit.
I have to attend, but I don’t have to attend sober.
It was easier to learn how to fix machinery when it was broken, and so he drove home sad, and drunk, and utterly alone, stars pulsating, passing cars blending together, or unseen.
Ralph found that an occasional hangover was an excellent way to stay humble.
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