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A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."
When the creditors started calling, Stuart simply told them that negative 50,000 was the new zero; “I think it’s some new-fangled government math,” he’d say, “and according to my figures, we’re flush.”
Every so often, so very seldom, something happens that makes me think there’s hope somewhere and the cancelation of African “debt” is one of those things; then I begin to think about who the true debtors are in this equasion, and that I am among them.
All my life there have been more than enough people lined up, willing to do whatever it takes to help me fill out the paperwork for the loan on that new shovel I was forever wanting to replace, but now that it’s nearing time to dig my grave, I’m beginning to think I may be digging alone.
Why, after 9 months of unemployment and crushing credit card debt, does my new job make me feel like I need to go and spend my next few paychecks in advance?
i have just plunked down another portion of my open credit card in order to become a certifiable 6-12 english teacher which, if we’ve been following along here, i had no intention of becoming, so why did i do this thing, you ask: they have no art certification fast track, i will have to add art on after i am certified in six months or so or, in other words, because it was there.
The phone rings whenever I sit down on the toilet, without fail, but because I’m behind on my bills, it also rings whenever I get up, so there’s really no escape.
I developed a love of hyperbole in adulthood during a period when many, many bill-collectors would call us, night and day; fighting down hysterical giggles borne of panic, I would weave fantastic tales about ten-car pileups or alcoholic payroll embezzlers.
“You can’t squeeze blood from a turnip,” I said into the phone, “and yes, I know it’s supposed to be blood from a stone, but we’re well past that stage, don’t you think; besides, I’ve never been any good with either the legalities or the metaphors surrounding the crushing of the individual spirit, although I kind of like the song Money For Nothing by Dire Straits, if that’s any help - but it’s not, is it?”
Assuming not all can be paid, arrange the following past due financial obligations in their proper order of payment: Telephone (service shut off, Internet to soon follow), food for kids, gasoline, electric, auto loan (only one visit from repo man so far), 1-month past due 1st mortgage payment on house, alimony and child support, loan from parent, brakes for car (worn and grinding terribly), 2-month past due 2nd mortgage on house, auto insurance, cable television, dog & cat food, past due dog license.
Though I am glad you found me in a time where I def need someone to agree, I feel a little violated.
Another day, another dollar that is going to sit in my bank account for about thirty seconds before it goes out to either rent or gas or electric or Bank of America.
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