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Dating
Talent. :: Br. Ezra

Returning to the “dating scene” after years of marriage can be frustrasting for the recently divorced especially if your talent is mimicing the mating cries of several North American bird species.

    TAGS:  birds, dating, divorce, mimic, mating cry


Barbie was embarrassed to be seen dating Big Jim, as he was quite a bit shorter than her, even when he wore her hot pink platform shoes; on the plus side, however, there was plenty of room for them both in the Big Jim Sport Camper.

    TAGS:  Barbie, dating, Big Jim


“You might call me somewhat of a boffin,” Rufus confided to Julia on their first and final date; “Take right now for instance, I’d like to see you naked, but purely for scientific reasons until we get to know one another better.”

    TAGS:  Rufus, boffin, dating, pick up lines


I thought I’d impress Sally by telling her that there was no actual proof that I couldn’t out-wrestle a dinosaur, but then she pointed out that there wasn’t any proof I could outsmart one either, so that didn’t go so well.

    TAGS:  dinosaurs, Rufus, dating, bowling, proof, bravado, wrestling, outsmart


Let Me Guess :: Keith

Somewhere around the sixth frame Rufus told me about his date with Julia, and by the look on his face, I could tell he’d brought up that boffin nonsense.

    TAGS:  Rufus, boffin, dating, bowling


Being new to the group, Evelyn had no way of knowing that whenever Rufus offhandedly brought up what he referred to as “his Hemingway years,” the best thing to do was walk away, and certainly, under no circumstances whatsoever, make the mistake of saying, “Hemingway? I love Hemingway;” but I’m sure she knows better now.

    TAGS:  friends, Rufus, dating, Ernest Hemingway, long-winded, group dynamics, self-centered


Crook :: Keith

To compensate for his one short leg, Luke made it his policy to only date crooked girls.

    TAGS:  dating, crooks


The first physical contact of any date is very important, and should never involve you thumping their belly the way you might a watermelon at the supermarket.

    TAGS:  dating, watermelon, thumping, supermarkets, Keith's Guides to Everything


Look, Gina, if no one likes your new boyfriend, perhaps it's not a problem with everyone else, it may be he's just a flaming asshole and you are only one in the world who can't see it.

    TAGS:  dating, assholes


Lucy's dating rules were not nearly as arbitrary as they seemed.

    TAGS:  dating, Requirements


 

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