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A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."
The guy who said he’d come over to fix the leak this morning is probably at that Handyman Fun Fair I suspect is held daily on the edge of town, where they all stand around watching a rodeo, drinking coffee from styrofoam cups, taking the ski lift together, giggling insanely while mocking their customers for their neediness, reveling in their stranglehold on our fair city.
5. Any customer who suspects, questions, wonders about, or in any way investigates the existence of the Stranglehold Conspiracy will be automatically rescheduled or delayed service so as to allow overtime billing.
It’s a little troubling to me that I suspect my body of being part of a conspiracy against me.
Being a hater of pink, I was pretty interested when Keith hinted that historically pink was not always associated with girls, so I tried finding some answers, but a lot of the links associated with this point of view, particularly the most frequently referred to, but rarely linked, website Gender Specific Colors seem to have run screaming out of the room like a crazed girl wearing one too many pink ribbons in her hair.
After a short stint of being a santa’s helper somewhere in my late teens (and a result being one of the few people world wide that possibly includes a reference from santa with the odd job application) I was shocked to discover that Santa is a creepy old guy - my friend pointed out today over lunch that break and entry and watching children a little too closely were not things that nice people did - I had to concede that the evidence was compelling and now have to live with the guilt that I put effort into convincing other folk that he’s just a jovial old man - I’m telling you because I want it on public record that I’m ashamed to have been part of such a huge conspiracy.
One day, one day very soon, Bill would find the instigator of the ‘right way up’ and turn his life upside down.
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