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A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."
Earlier today I distilled the very essence of life into one single glorious sentence to share with Scrine, but I was driving and had no paper and no pen and no ‘net access; if only we had a voice recognition, cellphone-based posting system, we would never experience the tragedy of a lost sentence.
As annoying as it is generally understood to be when people take cell phone calls in public, it’s even worse to carry your own cell phone all day, every day, and never have it ring for you once.
The odd little girl called Abraham Jones,
Was popular amongst the town’s cicerones;
“She’s allergic to flip phones, make a call and you’ll see
That she’ll puff up just like she’s been stung by a bee;”
So the tourists would dial and fill the air with ringtones,
Just to watch Abraham swell 'round her thin little bones.
I’ve just heard from a reliable source that God will stop answering prayers on June 3, 2009, and the reason, if you really must know, is that this will be the day that he downloads a new ringtone for his cellphone called The Human Condition, and upon hearing it, realizes he has been duped and loses all hope.
Sisyphus just about had the boulder to the top when his cellphone rang.
Area cashiers mourned the passing of Miss Helene, age 78, the last resident who never tried to make purchases while talking on a cell phone.
If some guy is sitting on the toilet in the mens room talking on his cell phone should you flush the urinal repeatedly to let his caller know he’s an idiot and an asshole or should you avoid flushing and exit quietly or does the answer depend of how much he’s stunk up the place?
Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I own a cell phone for MY convenience, not for YOURS - a point you may wish to ruminate over before hitting the re-dial button for the nth time.
When I complain that I can’t give myself away with a free cellphone, the correct response is NOT, “Well…what kind of minutes plan are you offering?”
Although Mr. Plinkson was not impressed with the monkey’s new cellphone, he did find several of the ringtones more soothing than those typically chosen by his human coworkers.
Ignoring two perfectly good keyboards and comfortable screens, Juan peered into his tiny phone and pecked with his thumbs in an effort to appear less Luddite than he really is.
Today I was speaking to a friend who had to move from a loud street into a park so he could hear me better; in the park I could hardly understand him over all the birdsong.
“Think of it as a cellphone,” Henry told the officer when asked to explain why he had a fish in his pocket, “but a cellphone that doesn’t mind falling out of your shirt pocket and landing in the toilet from time to time.”
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