Where memory comes to rant and rave, and heroes still use Burma-Shave

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• Scrine is the home of lost, forgotten, and lonely sentences.

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“As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.”

    TAGS:  cars, ample, bosom

My car needs a new motto - it used to be “Hootie-Free Zone”, but now everybody hates Hootie and the Blowfish.

    TAGS:  cars, mottos, sedans, iconoclastic

You know that feeling you get when you rev your engine several times and get ready to blow everyone away off the line and then you pop the clutch and there’s an awful “thump” as your transmission falls out on the ground?

    TAGS:  cars, bugger, revs, transmissions

Question :: 'mouse

Am I the only one who finds cars completely unlikely?

    TAGS:  cars, unlikely

like :: goliard

a car with a bad transmission: I just keep slipping into neutral at the worst possible moments (i should have read that damn horoscope this morning).

    TAGS:  cars

I can hardly wait for the release of 2020: A No Parking Space Odyssey, but in the meantime, I’ll continue to wait tables and hope to catch my big break.

    TAGS:  cars, big breaks, parody, parking lots

priceless. :: goliard

I went to the beach yesterday and came out to find myself wedged out of the driver’s side entrances by a white pontaic parked no more than 4 inches away: after squeezing children and myself through the passenger side, i found a piece of notebook paper, wrote ‘You are an Asshole, signed- the Car Next To You’ in really big print and impaled it on the car antenna (reachable from my window). i felt better anyhow.

    TAGS:  cars, frustration, motorists

New Cars :: Keith

Henry didn’t know what to think of all the new cars.

    TAGS:  Henry, auto, cars

Retread :: Keith

Henry’s life felt like the flapping sound of his car’s retreads - that moment just as the rubber pulls free and all hell breaks loose.

    TAGS:  Henry, auto, cars, retreads

When my brother and I were children, I loved Hot Wheels race cars every bit as much as he did; thirty years later, Mattel offers my daughter a race track just for girls, but the cars are all pastel, and they run on a pink race track straight to ... a shopping mall.

    TAGS:  childhood, cars, dolls, feminism

“Calling all cars, calling all cars, this is an all spice alert, I repeat this is an all spice alert.

    TAGS:  Spice Cops, cars, puns

“I try not to judge people by their cars—I really couldn’t care less about them as status symbols—but I have noticed that I’ve never been friends with anyone who drives a BMW,” commented Juan as yet another BMW failed to yield a merge on the highway.

    TAGS:  auto, friends, cars, BMW, judgement, highway, status, yield

hoodnap :: 'mouse

Little Bear found that the hoods of recently parked cars were a nice warm place to take a nap during unseasonably cold May days, and that after the initial screaming and running, people tended to leave him alone for at least a half hour or so as they went off in search of a ranger, by which time most of the heat was gone anyway.

    TAGS:  Little Bear, cars, napping

Running on empty :: 'mouse

Tim usually managed to keep oil in his car, but he often forgot to keep food in his body.

    TAGS:  cars, oil, hunger

It was easier to learn how to fix machinery when it was broken, and so he drove home sad, and drunk, and utterly alone, stars pulsating, passing cars blending together, or unseen.

    TAGS:  cars, drinking, driving, machinery


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