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Bananas

Last weekend, my wife suddenly announces, “I love buying bananas, but I have absolutely no interest in eating them.”

    TAGS:  bananas, Freudian


Hello?  Hello? :: 'mouse

Is it so wrong that I cannot pick up a banana without putting it to my ear and saying, “Hello?... hello?”

    TAGS:  bananas, fun with fruit, true nature


undulating :: boot

The ground dove up and down in huge, deep pits of anxiety, throwing clusters of giraffes and banana plantations aside as if they were feathers, racing along in waves after the diminunitive and sparkling creature that flitted gently away into the distance.

    TAGS:  Becky the Harlequin, harlequin, bananas, feathers, giraffes, diminutive, undulating, sparkle, flit


maybe next time :: boot

Julie sat in her armchair watching a repeat of Pick Our Banana!!! and thought to herself, “I hope this reincarnation thing works out, because there’s no way I’m going to fit everything in the first time around”.

    TAGS:  procrastination, bananas, television, mundanity


one :: boot

banana.

    TAGS:  words, bananas, games, one


... banana cake, which is followed by…

    TAGS:  coffee, bananas, games


Bananas :: 'mouse

More proof that the goddess in charge loves tropical countries best.

    TAGS:  fruit, food, god, bananas, goddess


Banana Rustlers :: Keith

The banana rustlers continued to give authorities the slip.

    TAGS:  bananas, thieves, theft


The man laughed in a hauntingly familiar manner and every time he did so he caused a quiet smile in the woman seated across the way.

    TAGS:  bananas, count


Simia bananacus :: steve

Judging by the number of banana peels on the ground during my walk around the pond this morning, I suspect an infestation of the rare North American pine monkey.

    TAGS:  bananas, monkeys, banana peel, walk


Becky noticed the unhappy hippo just in time and reached into her left ear to whirl out her latest liquorice wand and, instead, found a small pea.

    TAGS:  Becky the Harlequin, harlequin, bananas, banana nose, hippos, liquorice wand, peas


I’ve got secrets too you know, not super ones, mind you, but they’re plenty secret enough.

    TAGS:  bananas, secrets


The world was changed for the good with the invention of the banana clock, though the time between ripe to brown wasn’t always entirely the same.

    TAGS:  time, bananas, clocks


Mrs Traellow shut the door to her office, amazed at the number of lonely fruit she’d seen in just her first day on the job.

    TAGS:  fruit, bananas, lonely


Bananads(tm) :: 'mouse

If Del Monte can advertise the “Jungle Book” DVD on its bananas, I can surely get rich making advertising stickers to go on men’s… bananas, thought Juan, wondering what the stickers should advertise.

    TAGS:  advertising, bananas, penis


“Pear, no, apple, no, banana, hmmm, no, kumquat, oh, no, no, dear, um, ooh, watermelon,” said the tomato.

    TAGS:  fruit, bananas, apples, uncertainty, tomatoes, watermelon, pears, kumquats


Lackadaisical :: boot

Another word that’s hard to stop spelling, just like bananananana. Nana.

    TAGS:  words, bananas


No one had seen Peter’s briefcase since the missing banana incident, yet for some unexplainable reason, only Bobby, the doorman, ever considered that the two unfortunate events were related.

    TAGS:  bananas, briefcase


14 ‘til I die :: 'mouse

Yes, that is a banana in my pocket, and no, I am not happy to see you.

    TAGS:  bananas, sexual innuendo


bananaphone :: 'mouse

As far as she could remember, Tanya had never picked up a banana without answering it, “Hello?”

    TAGS:  bananas, banana phone


banana? :: baltimore

When I was a kid, I used to call bananas ‘bablanas’; to this day, I still find myself using that word in conversation.

    TAGS:  bananas


Josie noticed that if she kept a bunch of bananas in her kitchen, they would sit untouched until they turned brown, but whenever she bought just one banana, her kids would fight over it.

    TAGS:  bananas, josie, economics


The banana looked up at John Cleese with tears in its eyes.

    TAGS:  bananas


Vitamin B-6 (Butt-6) :: Br. Ezra

Bananas, once thought to be a binding agent, have been clinically proven to be beneficial to colon health – thanks to vitamin B-6 – and while the word “bananas” is not as funny as “corn,” the most hilarious word in the English language, it is at least as noble as the infamous yellow vegetable.

    TAGS:  bananas, colon health, Vitamin B-6


Fruit of His Loins :: OhNo789

It is believed by most Religious-Studies specialists that the forbidden fruit was, in fact, a banana, leading me to believe that Adam was just putting on a show for god, and feigning anger at Eve when she ate his the forbidden tree’s succulent fruit.

    TAGS:  bananas, Adam & Eve, forbidden fruit


Weird Trip :: Br. Ezra

The sea foam bananas smelled brightly.

    TAGS:  bananas, smell - the odor, LSD


Phones are funny when you think about it.

    TAGS:  bananas, ridiculous, phone


Fat Bananas :: 'mouse

Joey swore that the name of his band, Fat Bananas, was not a reference to the size of the doobies they liked to smoke nor to their, um, members, but the way he smiled when he said it left you pretty sure it was one or the other or both.

    TAGS:  bananas, sexual innuendo, doobies


Unfortunately, there was no such thing as hard-boiled bananas on his home planet.

    TAGS:  bananas


 

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