Home of the lost, lonely and forgotten sentence

What is Scrine?

• Scrine is the home of lost, forgotten, and lonely sentences.

What are the rules?

• Play nice. Be kind. Post only single sentences.

• Scrine gives everyone plenty of rope to play with, but reminds everyone that even the longest rope is capable of hanging a person.

• Censorship is ugly, but still not the ugliest bird in the sky. Happily, this has never been necessary.

• The appropriateness of all sentences will remain the sole discretion of Scrine's tender.

Who can play?

• Anyone. Reading along costs nothing but time.

• Membership is required to post your own sentences. Joining is quick and painless.

• With membership comes the unique privilege of calling yourself a Scriner.

What about privacy?

• Your information will never be sold, given away, shared, or even traded for an unimaginably delicious slice of pie.

• The above sentence may be the only sentence on this site that is 100% true.

's notes

Use this space for notes and reminders to yourself.

This is a private space. Only you will see your notes.

Expiration date is not required, only if you want the note to magically disappear.

A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."

Please Choose

Enjoy the Benefits!

  • Sentences worth shaking a stick at.

  • Many fine examples of semicolon abuse.

  • Best secret handshake west of the Mississippi.

Member Log In



 Remember me

Show my name in the online users list

      Lost your password?

Become a Scriner!



A password will be e-mailed to you.

Scrine Restoration

Sentences: 100% (19120)
Comments: 11%

Confessional: 100%
Scrineblog: 18.4%

boot blog: 100%
'mouse blog: 0%

Logged In


Subscribed To:

  • What? No tag subscriptions?
  • Do you require a doctor?


The Walrus may have been Paul, but the Lion was definitely Jesus.

    TAGS:  Jesus, walrus, Paul McCartney

Gravy For Lent :: Keith

“This year I’m giving up gravy for Lent,” Jacob told his wife, “but only dinner gravy, mind you, not my breakfast gravy; Jesus wouldn’t want that.”

    TAGS:  Jesus, gravy, sacrifice, Lent

apostrophication :: 'mouse

I’d've thought y’all would’ve agreed it’s Jason’s sister’s friend’s aunt’s dog’s fleas’ friend ‘mouse’s apostrophe use that’s made the baby Jesus cry.

    TAGS:  Jesus, apostrophication, crying

meatloaf :: Br. Ezra

Jesus doesn’t eat meatloaf.

    TAGS:  Jesus, meatloaf

Gary Coleman doesn’t eat meatloaf; Jesus really, really doesn’t eat meatloaf

    TAGS:  Jesus, meatloaf, Gary Coleman

In Heaven, Jesus often sings backup for Meatloaf…. “I wanna know right now, do you love me, will you love me forever, do you need me….

    TAGS:  Jesus, highly unlikely, backup singers, Meatloaf - the band

Apparently, ‘the power of Christ compels you’ is not a valid reason for my boss to give me a raise.

    TAGS:  work, baby, Jesus, footwear

You may have your own Personal Jesus, but I have to share Jesus the one-eyed superjanitor with the rest of the people in my office building.

    TAGS:  work, Jesus

It should come as no surprise that dogs often find it extra hard to accept Jesus as their personal savior while attending Cat Church.

    TAGS:  dogs, Jesus, cat church

One of the basic lessons of Cat Church is that temptation comes in many guises, and that is why you will always find a Jesus hanging on a carpet-covered scratching post cross behind the pulpit.

    TAGS:  Jesus, cat church, temptation, pulpit

Good Shabbos to all! :: Br. Ezra

Jesus explained to Pat Robertson that the reason he didn’t come to the door or answer the phone on Fridays was because it was shabbos, but Robertson found himself nonplussed and reminded his Lord and Savior that Sunday was actually “his day, and Jesus found himself, for the umpteenth time, gently reminding Robertson that he was Jewish and not Christian therefore the Sabbath fell at sundown Friday evening and when Robertson started to protest, Jesus just smiled sagely and said, “Shabbot Shalom” and walked away quickly before the televangelist could say more.

    TAGS:  Jesus, sabbath observances, Pat Robertson

Jesus’ learned patience each morning when he stepped out onto his wet lawn to retrieve the soggy newspaper that his carrier flung haphazardly as he rushed through his route.

    TAGS:  Jesus, patience, newspaper delivery

When my daughter was seven she asked me what Jesus tasted like - she was preparing for her first communion - and I wasn’t sure exactly how to answer until it dawned on me she was horrified by the whole “body and blood” element, and so I just responded, “like chicken, sweetheart, just like chicken,” but years later I wished I had become a Unitarian before scaring the holy bejeezus out of her (bad pun intended) and turned her into a vegan.

    TAGS:  1st communion, Jesus, chicken, chicken - the meat, transubstantiation, Unitarianism

Down the middle…Jesus saves - he shoots - he scores, and the crowd goes wild!

    TAGS:  Jesus, halo

I would look for Jesus but at the moment I still can’t find Waldo!

    TAGS:  Jesus, bumper stickers, Waldo

I have been tragically dead for nearly five months… but much like Zombie Jesus, I will rise again.

    TAGS:  Jesus, zombies, blasphemy

Jesus’ feet were size 10 1/2, but he’d only wear size 11 sandals because he had an irrational fear of fractions.

    TAGS:  Jesus, feet, fractions, phobia, Keith's Guides to Everything

I wish Jesus would come back so I could see him getting his groove on in an iPod commercial.

    TAGS:  Jesus, iPods, marketing

Whenever I tell my christian friends that Jesus was actually born in the summer, and Christmas was placed on the 25th to coincide with a preexisting Roman holiday, they’re never very pleased…

    TAGS:  agnostics, Jesus

Sheldon Meets Jesus :: Br. Ezra

ӿConoces a Jesús,” Sheldon, missionary to the people, asked young Jorge who replied enthusiastically, “Si todo el mundo sabe de Jesús” and pointed to the kindly pretzel vendor who had occupied the same corner between Third and Delaware for the past 15 years.

    TAGS:  Jesus, Sheldom Missionary to the People, pretzel vendors, pretzels

You ever get that creepy feeling that you’re being followed?” Jesus asked Peter the night before the Last Supper.

    TAGS:  Not the Gospel, Jesus, sayings, sayings of Jesus almost

“You followed me all this way out into the desert and not one of you thought to pack a picnic basket?

    TAGS:  Alphabetti Spaghetti, Not the Gospel, Jesus, sayings

“Pick a card” :: Br. Ezra

After rebuking the storm and walking on water Jesus’ disciples were no longer content with his card tricks.

    TAGS:  Jesus, card tricks, disciples, walking on water

Boychicks in the Hood :: Br. Ezra

Pat Harrington, Jr sat in his agent’s office hoping that his descent into obscurity had halted with the chance to reprise his role as hipster building super Schneider with the premiere of “Boychiks in the Hood,” a sitcom about 12 sketchy, but loveable homeboys sharing digs in an East Jerusalem tenement building, although a contract dispute between Jesus and the Fox Network threatened to prevent this weekly 30 minutes of family viewing fun from ever making it past the pilot episode.

    TAGS:  Jesus, sitcoms, East Jerusalem, Fox Network, Pat Harrington Jr., Schneider, One Day at a Time References

And, unpleasant as it may be to admit it, it is at last becoming evident that the enormous increase in productive power which has marked the present century and is still going on with accelerating ratio, has no tendency to extirpate poverty or to lighten the burdens of those compelled to toil. It simply widens the gulf between Dives and Lazarus, and makes the struggle for existence more intense

    TAGS:  Bent Rule Club, Jesus, atheism, Einstein, self-esteem, Schrodinger, lattes, theology, Schrodinger's cat

Henry was surprised to discover that they still celebrated birthdays in Heaven, and he was darn glad he wasn’t one of the poor suckers who had to share the day with Jesus.

    TAGS:  Henry, Jesus, birthdays, Heaven - the place, poor suckers

For Christmas, Mary would always give Jesus socks, and he would smile and put them on, even though he thought he looked like a dork wearing socks with sandals.

    TAGS:  socks, Jesus, highly unlikely, Christmas stories, dork, Keith's Guides to Everything


Copyright @ 2005 - 2018

183 queries in 1.0939 seconds