A layman's guide to decency, love & polite violence

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• Scrine is the home of lost, forgotten, and lonely sentences.

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• Scrine gives everyone plenty of rope to play with, but reminds everyone that even the longest rope is capable of hanging a person.

• Censorship is ugly, but still not the ugliest bird in the sky. Happily, this has never been necessary.

• The appropriateness of all sentences will remain the sole discretion of Scrine's tender.

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• With membership comes the unique privilege of calling yourself a Scriner.

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A great place to keep your fantastic ideas, like, "Hey! I need to write more sentences about crickets and English gentlemen with unruly beards."

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Hail Marys

Sister Sarah, hoping she could correct my son’s dogmatic world view to something more appropriate, tried reasoning with him - she actually asked him if Santa Claus died for our sins on Good Friday how it was possible for him to deliver presents on Christmas Eve - but my son didn’t even bat an eye, “Easter,” he replied and then he added a “duh” as only a fifth grader can when confronted with the unbelievable stupidity of his elder generation, “He comes back to life on Easter just so he has time to get ready for Christmas”....and having thus educated the elderly nun ordered her to say 15 Hail Mary’s before sending her to the principals office.

    TAGS:  Santa Claus, nuns, Hail Marys, organized religion, smarter than a 5th grader

The atmosphere at the Vatican dry cleaners was tense ever since it was discovered that the Shroud of Turin had been washed with a load of red tee shirts and, while some of the trainees found this funny, no one was laughing out loud because the pope was still pissed about someone turning his new cotton underpants pink the week before and he had been doling out 1000 Hail Mary’s to any unlucky soul who happened to walk into his confessional.

    TAGS:  confessional, Hail Marys, papal laundry, shroud of turin


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