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French

I know the old stereotype is about “those clever Japanese,” but I think the real cleverness is in the French, who not only get us to eat their moldy old cheese but who also have convinced us to pay premium prices for it.

    TAGS:  cheese, French, stereotypes


Beaucoup de bières!

    TAGS:  beer, French


There is the perfume that has been your signature scent since your first encounter with it in Edinburgh, the one made by bright young whoosits in England, the one that smells of orange, pine, and patchouli and makes you smell of ginger ale when you put it on; there is the eau de toilette that you bought at a famous designer’s shop in New York, the one with packaging that made you wonder if the fragrance inside would be cloying and obnoxious, the one that turned out to be peppery and charming; there is the fragrance you bought at a spa in Arkansas, scented with essential oils of nectarine and basil, a scent that knocks you back to your suite at the writer’s colony with Proustian nostalgia; all of these fragrances are wonderful, and all have their place, but somehow there’s nothing like the French perfume that your sweet friend brought you back from Paris to remind you that there’s a reason that French perfume has the reputation that it has: namely, it’s beautiful stuff, and you cannot possibly help but feel pretty as soon as you put it on.

    TAGS:  friends, Arkansas, New York, basil, French, Edinburgh, England, fragrance, Paris, nectarines


Henry didn’t speak much French, but he could have sworn the man named Pierre shouted, “C’est la Vie!” as the other man was hit by the bullet, and not, “Carlos, you fool!” as he seemed to be telling the police.

    TAGS:  Henry, police, bullets, French, fools


sardonic :: Br. Ezra

Lord Byron always found his manservant’s insistence on speaking his native French a Sardonic rebellion.

    TAGS:  rebellion, French, Lord Byron, manservant


Why is it that “you are very much in my heart” sounds so much better in French, especially when it takes me five minutes it to decode it from my voicemail?

    TAGS:  love, language, lust, French


I love almost everything about my French teacher: her pixie haircut, her giant hand bags, her sense of humor, her graceful hand gestures, but she is so painfully thin that I just want to feed her salami and lard sandwiches until she can’t hide behind a broom handle anymore.

    TAGS:  French, lard, salami, thin


“A good woman is like a big pot in a poker game,” Milton the Bastard told the waitress, “and no matter how good you bluff or how good your cards are, some sneaky bastard across the table is going to steal it from you, so yes, to answer your question, I am ready for breakfast, but I’ll have coffee only, and make sure it’s hot this time.”

    TAGS:  spam, French, Milton the Bastard


Henry pretended to like all things French, but when he was honest with himself, it was mostly just the kiss that he fancied.

    TAGS:  Henry, French


“In France the only thing more native than contempt is whimsy.”

    TAGS:  French, whimsy, contempt, France


 

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