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Carl
Full Tonight :: Keith

Carl gazed with care upon the pervert moon.

    TAGS:  Carl, moon, perverts


As the state’s leading bacon expert, Carl was called upon to testify at least once a week, earning him a comfortable living, with the exception of whenever he ran or tried to touch his toes.

    TAGS:  bacon, toes, Carl, expert, testimony


Thanks largely to Carl B.‘s expert bacon testimony, my friend Schuster says he better understands the acceptable consumption limits of pork, but even more importantly, he now knows how to successfully argue a temporary insanity case involving the murder of anyone who takes the last slice of bacon.

    TAGS:  Schuster, friends, bacon, Carl, murder, legal, pork, testimony


A few weeks after whittling the miniature, old-fashioned rotary telephone, Carl was surprised to find a bill for it in the mail, which, Carl noted with some dismay, appeared to be a full-sized replica.

    TAGS:  Carl, hobby, telephone - the device, whittling, rotary phone


Several years passed before Carl realized that naming the baby Scarabaeus had been a drastic mistake.

    TAGS:  baby names, beetles, Carl, bugs, mistakes, dung


The Carl Story :: Keith

By the time he turned 45, Carl had slowed down considerably, and by 55, was able to reach full speed in any room of the house.

    TAGS:  running, Carl


Carl Goes Boffo :: Keith

Carl wasn’t sure exactly what it meant to “be boffo,” but he made his best guess and was promptly arrested.

    TAGS:  Carl, boffo


My Cheese :: Keith

Carl didn’t think of himself as possessive, or even aggressive for that matter, but sometimes he’d fly into a rage when he saw the way the melted cheese stuck to the spatula.

    TAGS:  aggression, cheese, Carl, rage, possessive


Climbing onto the bathroom scale the day before Thanksgiving, Carl was more determined than ever to file his lawsuit against the SpinRite Scale Company.

    TAGS:  Carl, Thanksgiving, lawsuits


Pieanoia :: Keith

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Leo told Carl after the examination, “but I’m afraid there are no medications available to control your escalating pieanoia.”

    TAGS:  pie, Carl, Dr. Leo


Carl would often stare at coworker’s breasts for hours at a time, yet because of his dysexlexia, often confused one breast for the other.

    TAGS:  sex, Carl, dyslexia


 

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