Minutus cantorum,
minutus balorum,
minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
It is one thing to contemplate your lost dream and sigh over what could have been; it is another thing to contemplate your lost dream and realize that jesus, you really dodged a bullet.
Copula eam.
Diabolus est a monachus in rutilus underpants
Many mistakenly believe in two types of men’s blue jeans--clean and dirty--which completely ignores one of the most overlooked kinds of all--clean enough.
The brochure fell out of the stack of mail and landed on the floor bringing it with it an epiphany - nursing school - I could be a murse (man nurse).
The armored car turned left and headed down a blind alley straight for my merry band of outlaws and I.
My deck is lined with pots filled with seeds of sunflowers, moonflowers, bachelor buttons and lilies waiting to burst through the miracle grow potting soil, and here I sit wondering if they will make it as more snow falls on the front range in what has to be the longest freaking winter ever.
there was no one around on the way out but two ‘possums crossing the boulevard, 6am, going home.
Is it a terrorist threat to wish for a special circle of hell just for Bill Gates for all that he hath wrought?
Once in a rare while, I wish I was a Mac user.
After I turn in this paper, it’ll be one continuous party all across the nation.
it’s not everyday that you get to stand just a few feet from an osprey snatching his fat redfish lunch between his talons and flying away victoriously. it made my day.
As the echoes proceeded apace behind her, Elena broke into a sweat and hoped this was only a nightmare.
It’s not just rubbery, it’s probably made of chewing gum and sherbet.
Those little Facebook applications terrorized her every waking breath and those in her sleep: she simultaneously raced to escape zombies and vampires, unscramble the words in the puzzle, re-park her cars, collect her virtual cards, grow a virtual garden and throw yarn at people.
Some words just make you giggle with silly delight.
The very mention of the word made Dean pause in whatever he was doing and remember everything about her, every crease, every movement, every moment.
There’s nothing like a group of really great women to make your mood positive.
The last few weeks Rosie’s thoughts had been UP, down, UP, down, UP, down, UP, down, to the point that she was beginning to suspect she had undergone some sort of reincarnation and was in fact now a bright orange yo-yo.
1000 gigabytes of data to transfer/
take one down and copy it over/
999 gigabytes of data to transfer…
“Today’s surprise spring nor’easter will bring strong wind gusts to the city, so do remain alert and look out for flying construction debris.”
Really I’m wearing a brace because I twisted my knee while trying to stand up off the bed without waking the baby in my arms, but if anyone asks it was ninjas.
There’s a unique sort of disappointment that comes with the realization you really don’t have anything in common with your sibling.
My son told me not to get a buzz cut because, as he so vividly put it, “You’ll look like an old, retired cow farmer.”
“Think of it - we live on the bottom of an ocean of air,” said Fender to the third grade class, and they continued down the sidewalk, paddling boisterously against the current.
Right now I can think of no more heavenly lunch than a grilled cheese sandwich made with the world’s best, butteriest, highest-rising sandwich bread—the very same sandwich bread which is rising on the kitchen table, which still requires baking, and which won’t be ready to be cut until long, long after the acceptable standard hour for lunch.
I would posit that the dreck they show on hospital televisions is carefully calibrated to encourage the speedy recovery and departure of the infirm, but in point of fact, that same dreck is played on all our televisions.
Most things that “stay” in Vega$ are not that pleasant in the first place.
Starting on Day One of the coming revolution, if you call your grandmother on Mother’s Day and she finds it suitable to ask you questions like “is your mother still a vegetarian? (because it’s not healthy for her to not eat any meat!)”, “maybe you should ask your daddy to shave his beard so that he looks more like a daddy that way?”, or “so, how’s the weight problem? is it still bad for you?”, you are exempted by law from ever calling her again.
Rufus thinks that maybe he should go upstairs and tell his mother to have a happy Mother’s Day, even if she does throw him down the stairs again like she did last year just because he didn’t have a gift; my friend Schuster thinks it’s an excellent idea, considering how happy she always is watching him bounce off the basement stairs, which, he added, “Also brings a lot of joy to me, even though I’m not your mother.”
in the sense that i never made any choice that led to motherhood, but then i might have had i anticipated the yearly all-day-long incarceration in my home simply to escape the unholy and constant din of ubiquitous, “well”-wishing strangers.